jennifer's uncreatively-titled weblog.

No updates, you say?

2010-07-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

Why no, no updates at all. You can blame Veronica Mars and Netflix Watch Instantly. Lemon out.

"I just don't understand what people want from me. I just don't really understand what I'm doing."

2010-07-20T17:50:00.002-07:00

Whether by coincidence or by some underlying psychological pull to such books, the novels I've read recently have all dealt, in some way or other, with fundamental questions of growing up and growing into an identity. This is an apt time in my life for the exploration of these questions. Whether, in the end, it is or not, this time feels momentous, like I'm on the precipice of some great change, as if everything before has been merely prologue and this—this!—is life. The plot is about to begin. Though thinking too much about the connections between these novels and my own life might be more introspection than is strictly healthy.

Right now I'll briefly discuss one of the novels, the most recent one. And maybe the others later.

The characters of Keith Gessen's All the Sad Young Literary Men are familiar with the problem of slightly unhealthy levels of introspection. The novel (really, three novellas with little plot overlap) tells the stories of Mark, a seemingly perpetual graduate student in history who is struggling both to complete his dissertation and sort out his love life; Sam, who is determined to write the great zionist novel but lacks focus or conviction; and Keith, a Harvard grad political commentator/critic whose story is the only one told in the first person. While the latter shares a name with the author, it seems that these aspiring intellectuals all represent pieces of Gessen's persona, aspects of himself; he knows these characters because he is these characters.

They're constantly trying to make sense of their own lives in terms of historical forces. Mark sees parallels to his life in the actions of Russian revolutionaries (the subject of his dissertation) and Sam is always comparing his trials and travails to Israel's history. Who are they to become? What impact will they have on the culture? They are self-obsessed. (At one point, Sam becomes Very Concerned about his “google,” the number of hits that come up when his name is entered into google.) They're smart, but they lack focus.

In the end, the book was most successful in evoking a feeling—a place in time—in the lives of young people striving to matter, striving to think Big Thoughts and contribute in a meaningful way to our understanding of ourselves and our historical epoch. It was less successful as a character study or as a work of story-telling. The characters were less conceived as characters and more as aspects of the author's self. The tone seemed slightly at odds with the intention of the book. Everything a little too ironic, a little to satirical, for a book that is trying to say something earnestly. And I believe that it was trying to say something earnestly.

Tomorrow (or sometime.. you know...): The Magicians by Lev Grossman

over my character limit.

2010-07-20T08:48:00.004-07:00

I'm not at work today. Obviously. I am, however, determined to spend my day productively. (You know, cleaning, packing, all of those things one ought to do before an impending move.) What better way to start a day than breakfast? I had a fantastic smoothie, consisting of: a banana, some frozen blueberries, a handful of oatmeal, a handful of baby spinach, orange juice, and soy milk. The spinach lent it a lovely green color.

I started to blog again because I thought, well, maybe I'd blog about substantive things. But here I am, telling you what I had for breakfast. It's like twitter, without the 140-character limit. That sounds like a nightmare for everyone involved.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me and I'm feeling good.

2010-07-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

I have to come up with a title, too?

2010-07-18T19:08:00.008-07:00

If I'm really going to start doing this again (am I going to start doing this again??), I suppose I have to begin somewhere. Bullet points seem by far the most reasonable way to ease into blogging again, without having to actually compose an actual post about an actual thing. As always, I do not presume that you care about any of this, &tc.

I'm vegan for the month of July. There was really no good reason for this, and I've regretted it ever since the second week. But there's so little time left at this point that I figure I ought to stick it out, on principle. Though, is there really any principle, seeing as I've strayed twice--once perfectly intentionally? (It was 6:30am and involved free coffee. Yes, I drank, despite the presence of skim cow's milk.) I have found that I cook more (and take more delight in my cooking) when my options for eating out and eating conveniently are so restricted. Permanent veganism is not an option, really, but would be attractive for precisely this reason.
In August, I will begin drinking soda again. I swore off of it last August (for boring, silly, coke-and-pepsi-are-perfectly-evil-companies sorts of reasons; you know...), so now it's been a year. I don't miss it much. Except for Coke Zero, which I crave daily. For all that I was once severely addicted to diet dr. pepper, the prospect of drinking it again hardly excites much enthusiasm. But coke zero, better than "real" coke and fifteen times better than diet coke--I am counting the days until I can crack open that first can. Reunited. I'll figure out something meaningful and important to do about the problem of evil, multinational soda companies later.
I'm working at the census office in Sherman--have been since January--and find the prospect of leaving both exciting and sad. Exciting, in that I'm leaving Denison (after two long years), and sad, in that I've liked both the job and my coworkers more than I expected (and perhaps more than I've let on when discussing said job with friends).
I went swimming at the lake yesterday. It was nice. Why can't I tan??
I find myself immersed in fiction, even if not necessarily the fiction I'd like to be immersed in. What I want to be reading I'm finding resistant to true immersion.
I am moving. And I have a (probably literal) ton of books. I would like to buy new, exciting bookshelves, but this is likely out of the budget and thus out of the question. I will also need furniture more generally. Craigslist seems promising for this sort of thing.
I'm sure I'll have an election night party in November. You should come.
I cannot find Ricky Raccoon. Anywhere. Ever since I saw Toy Story 3, I've felt like an irresponsible toy owner. He must think I've abandoned him. I suppose I have.
I don't feel nearly so bad for my Scarlett O'Hara Barbie dolls. I don't know where they are. I am a bit sad to say that I don't particularly care. Bitches. Poor Rhett Butler.
Lost is over and I cannot help but feel that this is a good development for me. I have a sneaking suspicion that, despite how caught up I got in the excitement, that show wasn't as good as I thought it was.
I realize this isn't an update and it isn't new, but did you know that I never use the shift key for a capital letter? I always press the caps lock key, strike the letter I require, and then press caps lock again. Is this odd? Just terribly inefficient? It goes so quickly and so naturally that I hardly ever notice it. I wonder when I picked it up?
Also, I think I have a new career goal.

back?

2010-07-15T19:19:00.002-07:00

I was searching for something completely unrelated to this blog. And one of the first results that google gave me linked me to my own, long abandoned blog.

This began a procrastinatory spiral of re-reading my latter college and grad school years as filtered through the pages of this often whiny blog. There's something exciting about reliving your own experiences, recorded in the immediacy of the moment, with the perspective that only time can give.

I think I might blog again. I mean, blogs are so 2005, right? But sometimes the 140 characters that you get on twitter just aren't enough. And, presumably, what with going back to school in the fall, moving away from Denison, I will have lots of fascinating things to relate to you, dear (hypothetical) reader. Presumably, also, you be very interesting in hearing these things.

I am presuming a lot.

Hey, I still exist!

2010-01-19T20:14:00.003-07:00

Just not really over here anymore. Try twitter?

oh yeah--Teach for America, part 2

2009-04-23T19:53:00.002-07:00

So, long time, no update. Kind of skipped the month of March (most of April, too). Oh yeah, that TFA final interview thing: turns out they didn't love me. Guess it makes the question posed in my last post even more pressing: where oh where will I be in a year? I am now actively taking suggestions.

oh yeah--Teach for America

2009-02-27T20:56:00.001-07:00

So, I got an interview. And I got to skip the phone interview, which is cool. Where oh where will I be in a year?

just a hint

2009-01-26T22:46:00.001-07:00

To the coworker who sits beside me:

Prefacing something with "this isn't racist, but..." does not actually make it non-racist. Hope that helps.

i should write some thoughtful post about my feelings on the inauguration.

2009-01-21T19:41:00.002-07:00

But I'm too frustrated that I am not, at this very moment, watching Lost.

Am I a bad person?

update, bullet-point-style.

2009-01-16T22:57:00.003-07:00

As a quick glance down this page will show, I am an amazingly bad blogger. Except for a brief, election-fueled revival, this blog has lain dormant for a while. So, rather than go into too much detail about what I've been up to, and rather than make any promises about future quantity or quality of updates, I will put the past few months of my life into bullet points.

I left the desert and moved back to Texas. I am grateful for the trees and lakes, but at the very present I am missing the mild winters of Tucson.
I had a life plan, then I changed it; at the moment I am more-or-less clueless and taking any and all suggestions or advice.
I have a job. A fairly boring and awful job. But it took me a few months to find one. And there is something satisfying about going to work every day and then leaving, knowing that one has done something and earned something. I still can't wait to leave. But perhaps to a better real job.
I fell in love with my adorable nephew.
I became re-consumed by fiction. It's exciting. After years of reading non-fiction almost exclusively, I've dived back in. There are loads of things I want to read and haven't and many more I ought to have read and never got around to.
Oh my gosh, I read some Charles Dickens. Dickens, who I passionately dislike. Dickens, whose excessive wordiness makes me want to tear my hair out. Dickens, who is not in fact so very awful. I intend to read more, though I'm not sure what next.
Speaking of prejudices overcome, I now watch Lost. For a few weeks this summer I watched multiple episodes a day. I am no eagerly awaiting the season premiere. I hereby officially apologize to all friends whose Lost-obsession I mercilessly mocked. You were right.
I stopped watching Father Ted online and on late-night PBS. I bought the box set. (I have been telling you how hilarious this series is for years. You should finally watch it.)
I have been awful at keeping in touch with all sorts of friends. But I talked to Ema tonight and am happy.

an actual overheard conversation at lunch today*

2009-01-15T20:31:00.009-07:00

So, I am at a Subway in a convenience store. FOX News is on the wall-mounted television. Besides myself, two other people are in the Subway area. They are not eating together and do not appear to know each other; they are sitting at separate tables.

Man: "Man, it's crazy out there." [presumably a reference to the state of the world?]
Woman: "I hear gas prices are going back up. And Obama's got this new plan." [derisive snort.]
Man: "Hmm. Yeah, I'm not exactly hopeful."
Woman: "And did you hear? He wants to shut down 90% of gun stores. The NRA is really against him."
Man: "'Course they are."
Woman: "My husband and I are big hunters. We're worried. He's thinking about going to buy up some more ammunition before Obama gets into office. You know he's gonna tax it up."
Man: "Bet the black folks won't have too much trouble getting their hands on some."
Woman: [laughs.]

There is silence for a few minutes. I google this "shutting down 90% of gun stores" thing down. It's not true.

Woman: "Still got my McCain Palin bumper sticker on the car. I hope she runs again."
Man: "Oh, she will. She'll come back a-swinging."
Woman: "I sure hope so. She's a classy lady."
Man: "Smart, too. I'm not sure about her for President, though! And this Hillary thing!" [gestures up to the television, where Hillary Clinton is on the screen]
Woman: "Aww, come on now! I love her! Voted for her in the primary!"
Man: "Really?"
Woman: "Yeah, but in the end, I had to vote for the American. I'm just not sure about Obama, with all his terrorist connections."

As much as I wanted to stay to hear this conversation out, to discover what connections, in fact, Barack Obama has to terrorism, my lunch break was over. I do love, though, that he's not really American. I was unsure if this was because of a) his race, b) his foreign father, c) because she may have thought he was Muslim, or d) his "terrorist connections."

Why I found it so fascinating was the paranoia surrounding Obama. I've been seeing all these news stories about folks stocking up on guns and ammo because they think that Obama wants to take them away. The racialized paranoia was interesting, too. In this view, Obama wants to take firepower away from whites and give it to blacks. This guy was kidding, but I think fears about upsetting racial hierarchy underlie alot of anxiety about Obama. (For the record, I don't think anything about racial inequality has substantially changed with this election. Unfortunately, it's going to be hard to convince some folks of that. I can see it now: "But we're all equal! After all, we just elected a black president!")

The Palin thing was interesting, too. The lady was a Clinton supporter! I bet she agrees with Obama more than McCain (otherwise, she was supporting Clinton for reasons other than issues--which is of course totally possible!), but was stuck up on this "American" thing. And by the way the man linked his wariness about a Palin presidency to Clinton's confirmation as Sec. of State, I suspect gender was a factor in his expressed feelings.

I found it mostly really interesting because you don't often hear this sort of talk in public, among strangers. I see it online alot. And I, er, may hear it in my house from time to time. But I, who have many, many conservative, McCain-supporting friends, have never heard this kind of talk in public. (But my conservative friends mostly oppose Obama for issue-based reasons, so, they are different cases than perhaps these folks.)

*because the best way to address my long absence from this blog is not to address it at all. Oh, happy 4th birthday, blog! Missed it this year. And, wow, only 25 posts during the whole of 2008.

one would never know how much i don't want her to win

2008-10-22T20:18:00.003-07:00

I've been defending Sarah Palin a lot lately. I've been defending her from objectification by her own supporters, from fiercely partisan criticism over Troopergate, and defending the money spent by the Alaskan government to allow her children to travel with her. I would like to say that this is a post criticizing something (and goodness knows there's plenty there), but this is more defense.

Folks are terribly concerned about the fact that the RNC has spent $150,000 on clothes and accessories for Gov. Palin. They say that this belies her "common person" persona. After all, the average person in this country makes less than $50,000 per year. This is three times this in two months.

I agree with that criticism, I guess, but only to the extent that it's kind of silly to buy that she has ever been during this campaign a "regular person." She can drop her g's and wink at us all she wants, but she is one of the political elite she loves to pretend to hate. She's a governor, for goodness sake! A governor can be the best, most in-touch governor in the world, but he or she is not one of the folks. They are not like you and I.

That said, of course the RNC ought to buy her clothes. It is a reality of American political life that women are more thoroughly scrutinized based on their appearance than men. Her clothes and accessories, because of the fact of American politics' gender hangups, are important parts of her campaign. I don't like this state of affairs, but it is the state of affairs.

It's not as if she's just going on a spending spree for stuff she wants. She's buying campaign tools. This is how we judge women candidates. It is sad but true. I think a lot of the media coverage of this, especially the lefty, mocking coverage, buys into the "women like shopping" narrative, situating Palin as a "typical woman" and thus using this, indirectly, as a disqualification for VP. Keith Olbermann tonight said something like "Caribou Barbie went shopping for accessories on the RNC's credit card." The logic behind this statement is Palin=Barbie=female=unqualified. There are plenty of arguments for Palin's lack of qualification for the office she is seeking, but this gender based one is the least compelling.

Media, please stop being sexist so I can stop defending this woman who I really, really don't want to be Vice President.

in her defense

2008-10-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Many people are ranting about the fact that Sarah Palin spent a lot of money during her months as Governor of Alaska schlepping her children around the state. Now, while there may be a legitimate legal issue with her having reported that they were on “official business,” it's more than a little absurd for folks who claim to support womens' presence in politics to complain when a woman (or a man, really) takes her children with her on the job.

Sarah Palin may not be the best example of this (having a generally stay-at-home spouse), but in many cases women may not have husbands at home to take care of the kids (and we know that women, no matter how high their career levels, tend to remain the primary care-givers), and to insist that the state should not pay for her to bring her children along is absurd. Such a policy would not be conducive to greater political involvement by women and mothers.

(I do realize that there are a lot of legitimate corruption scandals surrounding Palin's months as governor. She asked the state to pay her to live in her own home, she sold the state's jet to look good, but then insisted on using the department of public safety's jet for her own use, preventing its actual use, Troopergate, etc, etc, and on and on. But, in this case, I think the criticism is off.)

red scare update

2008-10-22T08:18:00.001-07:00

Turns out McCain and Palin don't quite understand what socialism means, either.

just for you danelle

2008-10-22T08:02:00.002-07:00

A good friend is someone who goes to the local Republican office to get John McCain buttons for you, even when said friend is more than a little afraid that some sort of liberal-detector will be triggered by her entrance in said office.

the obvious response to this post is "jennifer! you listen to more conservative talk radio than is strictly healthy!"

2008-10-17T11:26:00.004-07:00

But, passing that primary point: I am not at all sure that Rush Limbaugh actually knows what socialism means. I'm also not convinced he knows much about tax policy. And I'm 100% certain he has never actually read Karl Marx, not with the abandon with which he throws around the label "Marxist."

Seriously. If a plan in which folks at the top pay more in taxes than those at the bottom is "socialist," then America's been engaging in socialism far longer than Barack Obama has been alive. It's called progressive taxation. (And, hint, it's not socialism.)

(Sorry, I always know I will get frustrated by listening to such folks, but I cannot resist. The situation is not helped by the fact that news/talk radio stations in Denison are few and far between. My conservative radio station is all there is besides the fading NPR that only seems to come in on a cloudy day, drifting up from Dallas. Air America used to be here, but not only is it gone, but the screaming Randi Rhodes was often just as annoying [if sometimes more informed] than the conservative ranters.)

out of the park

2008-10-15T22:05:00.001-07:00

My last post expressed my excitement at the prospect of a "pal'n around with domestic terrorists" showdown at the debate tonight. While the topic came up, Obama didn't take the opportunity to lay the smack down in my preferred fashion. I suspect the hardcore McCainiacs were similarly unimpressed with McCain's lack of fervor.

But one of my favorite parts of the debate was the discussion of abortion. (Not the first bit, mind you, the stuff about the courts. I have complex feelings on this that were most reflected by Senator McCain's comments--though, likely not his actions if he were to become President.)

First off, my feelings on abortion*. I am, like most people in this country, opposed to abortion on principle but (some for libertarian, some for, some may say ironically, pro-life reasons) not supportive of overturning Roe. I was glad that Obama corrected McCain's "pro-abortion" line. No one is pro-abortion. I was so happy to hear Obama say that he felt abortion was a profoundly moral issue that we should take seriously, not use as an ideological talking point. I was glad to hear him acknowledge that good, well-meaning folks can be on all sides of this issue--that people can agree that abortion is a tragedy and that there are concrete steps we can take to prevent it from occurring.

If many of the anti-legal-abortion folks were truly interested in preventing abortions, they would support fetal health care programs, anti-poverty programs, adoption programs, sex education programs. But efforts to prevent unintended pregnancies and to help women and families to care for children are often met with disapproval. Ironically, such things are most forcefully opposed by those who would argue that they are the true pro-lifers.

I had been worried a few weeks ago when I got an email saying that Obama had voted against the Born Alive Infants Protection Act and that he had voted no against banning late term abortions. I am glad that Senator McCain brought these up tonight, giving me a chance to hear Obama's explanation and a reminder to look up what actually happened. Turns out, the there was already an Illinois law requiring doctors to treat born alive infants, and that Obama voted present** on the late term abortion bill because, while he supported the ban, he did not want to vote for it until it included protections for the health of mothers.

I think if all sides can agree on the fierce urgency of preventing abortions, of preventing unintended pregnancies, and, when they do occur, helping women to feel like carrying the child is something they are able to do, we can make a big dent in the number of abortions performed. Overturning Roe will do little to make such a dent, and will actually hurt more women and children, who will then turn to homemade and back-alley abortions. (Well, if they're rich, they will probably still get a safe, hospital abortion. But poor women will not.)

If folks on both sides are serious about this as an issue of life (rather than an ideological issue, or an issue of gender--i.e., women who are loose deserve to be "punished" by being forced to have the child--that kind of rhetoric that exposes how some*** anti-legal-abortion folks really think about this issue), real progress can be made. I think that Obama's talk on this issue was really helpful in setting a positive tone for such discussions. As a new aunt, this issue (as well as so many others that will affect our future, such as war, the economy, education) has a new urgency to it.

*I was going to go into a long treatise on beliefs about abortion. But I had a feeling I've been here before, so I searched through my blog, and here are other posts where I more fully explain my position on this issue (in a random order): Pro-life feminism?, Pro-life?, How we can be pretty sure it's not about "life", Scary & Illegal, Thank you Missouri, And O'Connor is Gone.

**On a side note, you hear a lot about how many times Obama voted "present" in the Illinois legislature. I think that a "present" vote is lovely. I think our U.S. congress should have it. Often, I imagine, it is the case that an individual supports a bill in principle, but something about the bill (funding, add-ons, etc.) makes it something that one cannot support in its current state. Think of how many times during this election season we hear things like "McCain/Obama voted against funding the troops!" followed by responses like, "I voted against that bill because it included X" or "did not include X." A "present" vote is effectively a "no," but it is a "no" that signals that one might in fact like the bill, but not something in it.
***I emphatically add, not all.

wishin' and hopin'

2008-10-15T06:33:00.002-07:00

John McCain has as good as promised that he will bring up the whole William Ayres thing at the debate tonight. I am crossing my fingers that he does. Please oh please. Yesterday he said:

"Y’know, I was astonished to hear him say that he was surprised for me to have the guts to do that, because the fact is that the question didn’t come up in that fashion. So, y’know, and I think he’s probably ensured that it will come up this time. And, look Mark, it’s not that I give a damn about some old washed-up terrorist…"

When he mentions it, he will most likely say that he "doesn't give a damn about an old, washed up terrorist," but he is concerned about Obama's lack of transparency on this issue. I hope Obama has prepped a potential response to it. Such a response might go like this:

"Senator McCain wants to talk about a guy I once served on a board with who committed horrific acts 40 years ago. I am more interested in working on the issues that real Americans are facing today. But, I would be more than happy to take this opportunity to answer any questions that the Senator may have about this if it will help him move past this and join me in focusing on the important problems we need to deal with."

You know what would also be amazing (though, admittedly, less likely)? He should follow that up with something along the lines of, "I was put on that board, incidentally, by the Annenberg foundation, which, in addition to giving around $50 million to Ayres' foundation, also gave money to John McCain. If the Senator takes his own rhetoric about the harm of association with 'domestic terrorists' seriously, I now call on him to return this money and repudiate the endorsement of Mrs. Annenberg."

I am incredibly excited about tonight's debate. If McCain does not bring up William Ayres, I will join some of the most hardcore of McCain's supporters in their disappointment.

this was going to be a post defending sarah palin.

2008-10-14T10:27:00.004-07:00

I'm serious. It was. I was going to complain about all the coverage of Troopergate. I was, firstly, going to point out that this sort of abuse of power is unfortunately the sort of thing one is likely to find in most politicians' past. If we delved deeply enough into the careers of Barack Obama and Joe Biden, we are likely to find a case of not-entirely-ethical hiring and firing. Secondly, I was going to mention that the trooper in question had reportedly threatened the Palin family (though the report addresses the validity of these claims--turns out the Palins didn't really take the threats seriously), so while it may have violated ethics laws, I can understand the motivation to try to get rid of him through whatever means necessary.

Third, and most crucially, I was going to detail my annoyance at the blatantly partisan-ness of this issue. I don't mean the fact that it was an issue in Alaska. That was reasonable and driven by legitimate "good government" concerns. I mean, the committee doing the investigating was mostly Republican. I mean the reaction to it. The Democrats talked about how awful and scandalous it was that Gov. Palin was involved in this sort of thing. The Republicans said it was an Obama-supporter-driven attack that was based on nothing. You had pundits on all sides yelling that their way of interpreting it was the only, true way. But, say it had been Joe Biden. You would have the exact same arguments, just exactly reversed, with the Obama camp saying it was a partisan driven investigation and the Republicans decrying Joe Biden's lack of ethical and moral sense.

This post was going to express my frustration with the media for caring so much about this issue that does little to advance the debate about the issues.

And, well, I'm still frustrated about that. But I am more frustrated about Sarah Palin's out and out lying about the report. I understand that she might want to spin it, saying perhaps, "The report found that the firing was well-within my powers as Governor." That is true. But it also found that the pressure placed on Monogan to fire trooper Wooten violated state ethics laws and that Gov. Palin had abused her power in order to "advance a personal agenda." The report admonished the Governor that "Compliance with the code of ethics is not optional." The report clearly states that her actions violated Alaska’s Executive Branch Ethics Act, which says that a public officer’s attempt to ‘benefit a personal or financial interest’ is a violation of the public trust. When she says nothing is unlawful, she's kind of spinning. When she says the report clears her of ethical violations, she is willfully wrong.

Yet what is she saying? She is lying. Not spinning, not exaggerating. Lying. Repeatedly. Enthusiastically. Here is a sample of lies told on multiple occasions after the report was released:

"Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing," Palin said, "any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that." Lie.

"So no, not having done anything wrong, and again very much appreciating being cleared of any legal wrongdoing or unethical activity at all."

"I'm thankful that the report has shown that, that there was no illegal or unethical activity there in my choice to replace our commissioner."

I still think the Troopergate scandal was blown out of proportion. But I am more scared by the prospect of a vice president who has no flinch of conscience about outright lying than I am about an overly-sensationalist media. I know, politicians lie. But usually, it's more of a "weasel," in that they are intending to mislead, but their facts are at least marginally true. Most of the time, it is spinning. (Which, don't get me wrong, is awful--perhaps worse because it's easier to buy. Here, one just has to read the report to know she is lying.)

It's one thing to be honestly wrong about policy. It's another to manipulate voters by playing to base fears and prejudices. And it is something different still to outright lie to the American people.

any reason is a good reason for more cary grant

2008-10-12T21:34:00.003-07:00

In honor of our new up and coming Depression, I have decided to indulge in some screwball comedies. I'm not focusing too much on similarities between that era and ours, though. I'm not going out to buy a fedora or anything.

Answering questions.

2008-10-09T22:42:00.002-07:00

As a part of their "Barack Obama isn't like us" strategy, the McCain campaign has been saying that he hasn't been properly forthright about his associations. As Gov. Palin said recently on the Laura Ingraham show,

Laura, it’s so important for your listeners to start asking those questions and demanding answers of candidates. We certainly — John McCain and I — our lives are an open book. We’re called on the carpet every day, demanded of us to answer questions and I don’t see that on the other side. I don’t see the other ticket being asked to be truthful and give these details that American voters are deserving and your listeners have gotta have these questions too.

This from the woman who has been shielded from all sorts of media? Who has yet to have a press conference? Who has taken open questions from the press just once, and for 15 minutes? Open book?

Again, I realize why they are doing it: they are trying to paint Obama as shady and unknown and suspicious--a person who is unwilling to talk about his background, trying to hide things about his past. You have folks like Frank Keating, Obama campaign co-chair, calling Obama a "man of the street," urging him to come out about his youth drug use. This is particularly amusing because the only reason we know about said drug use is because Obama himself wrote about it in his book!

So, I know why this is going on, but I suspect that at some point people will tire of attacks, especially hypocritical (Palin) or self-evidently incorrect and more than a little racially tinged (Keating) ones. But I have been disappointed before at our collective incapacity to detect complete and utter crap.

"a clear slap in the face"

2008-10-08T21:43:00.004-07:00

This is absurd. Apparently, Newsweek this week has a cover story on Sarah Palin and her face is featured on the cover, close-up. Megyn Kelly on Fox News, and Republican media consultant Andrea Tantaros are outraged--outraged!--that it was not photoshopped to look better. They are upset that one can see pores in Gov. Palin's skin. After calling the cover a "clear slap in the face," Tantaros urged viewers to cancel their subscriptions to the "elitist, liberal magazine."

"They retouch you to get rid of the normal flaws that human beings have. That's what they do in the magazine business." It seems like that might be a lot of the problem here, that we are encouraged to have unrealistic expectations of beauty on our magazine covers. But, no, the problem here is clearly that we are insufficiently making our female politicians like our favorite celebrities.

If Gov. Palin were a movie star or a model, and she were in a fashion magazine in which all the other models received the photoshop treatment, perhaps there would be a claim of unfairness. But, she is a politician, and this is a news magazine. We don't photoshop George W. Bush or Barack Obama! You can see wrinkles, moles, pores, etc. on Obama's Newsweek covers. Why is there no expectation that male politicians ought to be photoshopped and airbrushed?

I guess at this point, it has to be about distraction and about the horrible media and the secret Muslim terrorist Obama. Because it can't be about the economy. But it's still distressing. Incidentally, I distinctly remember Fox news personalities discussing how Hillary Clinton looked tired, old, and in need of Botox. A clear slap in the face! Right? Oh well.

Anyway, I think Gov. Palin looks, as usual, beautiful. Here is the picture.

issues, please?

2008-10-07T21:03:00.002-07:00

Now, I am no fan of the sort of politics that this campaign is being dragged into. In an ideal world, I would prefer that Obama not be pulled down to McCain's level, that he stay above the fray and trust the American people to be able to figure out the difference between legitimate ideological and philosophical differences and smear attacks not related to the truth. But, history shows that such attacks work (see, e.g., Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, ca. 2004).

Indeed, as McCain's own advisers are saying, they are bringing up things like William Ayres, because if the story is the economy, the issues, they lose. They want to make the story, "ooh, Obama is a shady character. He's different than you and me. *shh--he might be a secret muslim and is black*" rather than McCain's economic policies.

So, William Ayres. Yep, he and Obama live in the same neighborhood, were on a charity board together, and Obama once went to coffee at his house. Is this "palling around"? Nope. And, in the syntax of Palin's accusation, there is an inherent argument about why Obama "pals around" with Ayres. Because he thinks this country is so imperfect, right? So, her argument is that the reason Obama moved to Hyde Park, the reason he went to coffee that day, and the reason he served on that board was his dislike of America. lol.

But, it seems unwise, both from a moral and a strategic standpoint, for McCain to start this "guilt by association" fight. For every thing they can bring up about Obama, McCain has something equally bad, if not worse.

As for William Ayres, there's always McCain's buddy G. Gordon Liddy, who, besides his betrayal of his country during Watergate thinks his country is so imperfect as to tell people how to kill law enforcement officers (shoot them in the heads where there are no vests to protect them) when they come for your guns.

There's also Sarah and Todd's affection for the extremist, secessionist Alaskan Independence Party, which he was a member of until 2002 and which she attended conventions of and recently, as governor, recorded a welcome speech for. Their founder is as anti-American as they come. A sample of examples: "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government." or "And I won't be buried under their damn flag. I'll be buried in Dawson. And when Alaska is an independent nation they can bring my bones home." or "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions." The AIP persuaded the government of Iran to support its cause of independence. As Salon.com put it, "Imagine the uproar if Michelle Obama was revealed to have joined a black nationalist party whose founder preached armed secession from the United States and who enlisted the government of Iran in his cause?"

There's also McCain's membership on the U.S. Council for World Freedom, a right-wing group that aided central American death squads. He sat on the board of an organization that supported terrorist activities.

Now, to my point: I have no interest in making a campaign about these things. (Note that I did not include the Keating Five scandal here, because I think that is a legitimate issue in how it relates to the current financial crisis. It actually has to do with public policy rather than vague attacks on someone's character through guilt by association). Do I think that Sarah Palin wants to secede from the union, that she hates America's "damn flag"? No. Do I think John McCain supports killing American officials? Nope. Do I think much of this is relevant, beyond questions of judgment in who one affiliates with? Not in the slightest.

My point is that I believe it is a strategic error for McCain to go this route. It opens up a bunch of doors for Obama (or at least groups that support Obama) to bring up these things. And then the election becomes all about "Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist." "Well, McCain supports terrorist activities." And not about the economy, the war in Iraq, or any other issues that actually make a difference to Americans.

I suspect, of course, that the Obama stuff will "stick" much more effectively than anything Obama could point out about McCain's past associations. You see, the reason that the William Ayres stuff works has nothing to do with Ayres himself and everything to do with Obama. It's something for our doubts about this black man with the funny name to latch on to, something concrete. A story suggesting that Obama doesn't love his country has appeal because it is able to speak to the things that are unconscious and unspoken in our fears about him. So, in the end, perhaps it is a strategically viable route for McCain. Any negatives he gets for not focusing on the issues and for having his own shady background discussed may pale in comparison to the payoff in doubts about Obama. These attacks on him resonate far more than they would with McCain because it taps into a deeper cultural frame about Obama.

shocking new update:

2008-10-02T13:02:00.002-07:00

I am not a good blogger. Happy fall, everybody. I would promise more to come, but that would be lying to me and to you. Maybe there will be more to come. Who knows.

after this post, no one will ever believe that i am actually busy and have quite a lot of work to do.

2008-05-04T03:56:00.002-07:00

Everyone will believe I sit around watching movie adaptations of 19th century novels. But, I assure you, this is a recent (as in, within the past week) phenomenon.

I take a break from my blogging break to inform you that in today's tally, Ciaran Hinds is one for two. I have previously loved him in adaptations of Jane Austen's Persuasion (1995 version) and Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre (1997 version), as Captain Wentworth and Mr. Rochester, respectively. On both of those fronts today he was challenged by two more recent (2007 and 2006) adaptations.

As for Jane Eyre, I loved the 1997 version and expected to be unimpressed with this one. But Toby Stephens won me over and is now my very favorite Mr. Rochester. Rupert Penry-Jones, however, kind of sucked it up as Captain Wentworth. I freely admit that part of his problem may have been the unfortunate script. And another that Ciaran Hinds was so firmly fixed in my mind as Anne Elliot's long-lost love.

It's kind of funny, actually. I expected to dislike the new Mr. R because he was too good-looking to play him, yet he pulled it off. On the other hand, I was quite looking forward to a better-looking Captain W. (as there is nothing in the story itself, unlike in JE, that calls for an unattractive hero), yet he failed spectacularly.

Ah well. I will return to my blogging seclusion once more. Only a few more weeks until I am out of the desert and back to giving you, dear reader(s), generally useless updates.

Long time, no blog, part 2

2008-04-14T06:18:00.002-07:00

I have not given up on this blog. But I am taking a bit of a hiatus. I will be leaving Tucson in a month or so (woo-hoo!) and will be in a much better, more bloggy, state of being. For now I will spend my time finishing up coursework and watching random episodes of Father Ted online.

As an update on the previous post, my sister had her baby, my phone started working, and I am a proud--if long distance--aunt.

Oh, and big news. About my future. I've made a decision (beyond the one to leave Arizona). Perhaps if I have a spare moment between reading, writing, and Father Ted, I will tell you about it.

Long time, no blog.

2008-04-01T01:17:00.001-07:00

And I'm only on here now out of frustration. My pregnant sister has just gone to the hospital, ready to have the baby, and my PHONE IS NOT WORKING. For the past hour my phone has said "service unavailable" and I do not know what is going on. My phone has never not had signal in my apartment. Why, oh why?!

books, books

2008-03-05T17:10:00.003-07:00

Why must they taunt me into buying them? After I buy them, they will only sit on my shelf until I have the chance to read them, which is looking like that will be June, at least (if then). Books are my vice. Or, one of my vices.

promises, promises

2008-02-27T21:08:00.003-07:00

While my last post promised another forthcoming one, I failed. I've been on-and-off sick for the past few weeks, with my ailments ranging from the flu to migraines to severe anemia. I have spent more time in urgent care clinics than I care to think about, including two hours today.

When I originally went to the doctor the week before last, I first went to the urgent care clinic associated with University Medical Center. According to the website, it was somehow affiliated with the emergency department, which sounded weird, but as the primary reason for going was needing blood work done (and I could not get in to see my regular endocrinologist for two months), I somewhat naively assumed that they would be quicker at processing blood work, as they were attached to a hospital.

So, I get there, and it turns out that rather than the urgent care department being associated with the emergency department, the two are in fact one and the same. I filled out ER admission forms, and began to wait. And wait. After two hours (and I had not even been triaged at this point) I began to speak to the people sitting around me. Turns out that many had been waiting to be seen since the previous night. Several very ill-looking children were also waiting. The staff, one frustrated mother informed me, were doing the best they could by checking vital signs every two hours. I decided that waiting any longer here would probably not be helpful, that not only was it entirely possible that it would be twelve or more hours until I was seen, but that there were people there with much more severe problems than I.

So I decided to go to a regular urgent care facility. I drove to one, and after finding a parking space (no small feat--the lot was full and I parked in the lot belonging to another business a block away), as I was about to enter the building, a clearly disgruntled woman came out the door and told me, "Don't go in unless you want to wait six hours." I did not want to wait six hours, especially on top of the two I'd already wasted.

I called a friend (hi Travis!) who looked up another urgent care facility online for me. Once I arrived, I signed in and waiting 3 and a half more hours before I was seen. During my waiting time, several people who had been there before I got there got frustrated and left before being seen. But I waited it out. When I was finally called back, I was told that they could not even draw blood there, that I just needed to go to a lab the next morning and have blood drawn. In short, I had wasted a day.

This was before the flu and before the migraines. Maybe more on those (and the actual cause of my original visit) later. Incidentally, I am convinced that I may have picked up the flu from all those hours waiting in ERs and Urgent Cares. Gah.

coming soon.

2008-02-13T22:48:00.001-07:00

So, I am abysmal at updating. But I've been sick, and I've been busy. However, tomorrow (or in the next few days) I might share my horrible interactions with multiple health care institutions today. Right now I'm just going to cry.

for love of self-presentation

2008-02-02T09:50:00.000-07:00

I should not care what other people think of me. Especially not people who, if I ever see them again, will likely not remember me. Yet, yesterday as I was in Borders, I had an internal debate with myself over whether to buy a particular book. This was not for the normal reasons (i.e., I am broke and should not waste money on a book, I am busy and should not waste time on a non-academic book, etc.). No, this was because I was afraid of the silent judgment that would inevitably come from the cashier if I were to walk up there and purchase this book.

The book itself is about the Clinton marriage. I have always been fascinated by the Clinton marriage. Both Bill and Hillary are powerful, independent people, but they both rely on each other a great deal. Obviously, there is some pain there as well, and Bill has (had?) a bit of a philandering problem. I think the personal and gendered dynamics within their relationship would be interesting to read about.

I am, however, under no illusions whatsoever that this book will really, truly illuminate those issues. It is tabloid journalism. The only people who really know what that relationship is like are people who are unlikely to tell professional writers. But I like the idea of exploring these issues*. And the 20 pages of the book I had read sitting in Borders were interesting. So, I wanted to get it.

But I reasoned that buying it would be the equivalent of going to a newsstand and deciding that The National Enquirer was right for you.**

What was a fascinated-yet-interested-in-self-presentation girl to do?

Well, the obvious answer for me was to buy not only the tabloid-y and conservative*** book, but to also buy a relatively smart and liberal book at the same time (thus preventing the perception that I was some anti-Clinton right winger). It would be even better if the book were by a Clinton associate. Turns out such a book was on sale for $3.99! So, I promptly went to the front and purchased For Love of Politics and An Inconvenient Truth. I still felt silent judgment coming from behind the cash register, but I am completely willing to admit that that may have been my imagination.

*It could be said that the reason there is such interest in the Clintons' marriage is that Hillary Clinton is a female running for president and thus there is much interest in things surrounding her relationships, her makeup, her cleavage, etc. And, this is no doubt true. It is also undoubtedly true that many of the attacks on her are gender based (I support Obama, but my non-support of Clinton is policy-based). But I think I have been pretty reflexive about this issue (why exactly the Clintons' marriage fascinates me), and am fairly certain it is not simply because she is a woman running for the highest office. I am also, incidentally, fascinated by the marriages of John and Elizabeth Edwards and Elizabeth and Dennis Kucinich and Janet and Mike Huckabee.

**The obvious answer was to just go buy it online. But I was impatient.

***I assume it will end up being relatively anti-Clinton. I don't know. But, more importantly, I assumed that the cashier would assume it to be a Clinton-bashing book.

within reach

2008-01-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you are in the midst of stressful things, it's helpful to hear a familiar voice, reminding you that this is not all there is, that you get to leave soon (May!), and that in a few months these will all be memories.

(Thanks, Ema.)

Obama is coming to Arizona!

2008-01-30T10:22:00.001-07:00

But I have decided that, given my recent luck in seeing presidential candidates (see a few posts below for my particularly disastrous attempt to attend a Hillary Clinton rally), it would be unwise and a waste of time to drive to Phoenix this afternoon. Bill Clinton is also coming to Arizona soon, and I probably won't attend that either. Alas. Go Obama!

"Rain, rain, go away..."

2008-01-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

This headline in the Arizona Daily Wildcat, referring to yesterday's showers, is symbolic of the larger disconnect between Tucson and myself. While it was raining yesterday, my mood was lifted as I curled up to some warm soup and a good book. It was lovely.

new computer.

2008-01-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

At the end of last semester (and the previous one) I lamented the fact that computer woes seem to strike at the last minute, when course papers and other assignments are due. Well, turns out that my computers also like to mix things up at the beginning of the semester as well.

My computer was dropped from my desk yesterday, and after consulting with the pricey folks at Best Buy and the lovely folks at Blue Chip Computers in Tucson, it was determined that though the computer itself may be salvageable, the crucial bit, the hard drive, is done, gone, unaccessible. Rather than deal with trying to get another hard drive and fixing the computer (it was in poor shape before the crash; the cd/dvd drive, for instance, had ceased working), I just got another computer. A crappy, ugly, huge one, to be sure. But it works, and it was cheap.

The worst part of it all is, of course, that I have lost not only my music and music, I have lost papers, data, etc. This is, of course, my own fault for not properly backing up my computer. But I typically do that through cds, and my cd drive had not been working for months, so I had not done it in a while.

I have other computer woes to report, but I am too busy at the moment downloading and installing all of those things that one must get onto a new computer, including Firefox, AIM, Open Office, iTunes, etc. More stories will follow including my wiping clean the hard drive of another computer (by accident, of course) and the brilliant hacking of my facebook account by my lovely friends who I am, right now, placing on notice. Watch your backs.

I heard Hillary Clinton speak last night!

2008-01-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

From my car. While in the parking lot of a high school. But, she was actually at that high school, in person.

Let me explain. On Monday night I (and thousands of others) received an email from the Clinton campaign* inviting us to a “town-hall style” event in Laveen, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix. It was to be held at a local high school and we were told to arrive by 7 pm. When I got out of class (not until nearly 5; though this was only the first class of a course that is scheduled to go to 6 pm on Tuesdays), I ran to my car and immediately started driving at undoubtedly unsafe speeds to make it in time. I would say my average speed on the highway was around 85. (I know that sounds entirely too high, but the speed limit itself was 75.) It was very stressful, weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds. All to see a politician who I am not supporting.

Anyway, I arrived in the general area by 6:58. I knew I would be a little late, but I figured they would let me in. And, they probably would have. But I simply could not find the school, and my directions were dead useless. The combination of my navigatorial incompetence, the city's incomprehensible layout***, and google maps' failure to understand that layout resulted in me pulled over to the side of the road, frustrated nearly to tears. Finally I called lovely, lovely Jason, who, after a while, helped me to figure it out.

By the time I made it to where I was supposed to go, it was past 8. It was instantly apparent that this was not a “town-hall style” meeting. This place was packed, overflowing. There was no place to park, not even to park illegally. I heard Clinton's voice booming over a loudspeaker. Town hall events typically do not involve the sort of audio equipment that was clearly involved in this rally. I felt better. I would have been disappointed if I had lost an opportunity to as my question****, but it was clear that such an opportunity had never existed.

The highlight of the evening was the inevitable throng of Ron Paul supporters, who congregated, with their signs and shouts, at all entrances and along the roadway of the high school. But I can see them in Tucson any old day.

All in all, it was a supreme waste of both time and gas money. Perhaps the only benefit is that it spurred me to write this blog post, which is my first in nearly a month. And that's something, right? Perhaps not as cool as hearing Hillary Clinton speak might have been.

* Yes, I know, being on the Clinton mailing list and going to Clinton events may lead the average observer to suspect that I am voting for Clinton. I have no intention of doing so**.

**I am actually going to either vote for Ron Paul (for the fun of it) or Mitt Romney (for the strategy of it) in the Republican party in Texas. I support Barack Obama, but will of course vote for Hillary Clinton in the general election if she is the nominee.

***Some of my critics and naysayers (you know who you are) will put much more weight on my directional cluelessness than on the problematic street layout. But trust me, it was crazy. I pulled into one place that looked promisingly like a school, where I encountered a security guard. He had me pull over and asked, “Are you looking for the school?” I was immediately grateful to have been pulled over, thinking that he would provide directions, but he only informed me that 1) many other people had been just as lost as me, and 2) he did not, in fact, know where the school was. The fact that other people were just as lost as I speaks to the actual ridiculousness of the streets.

****Oh, and it was a good question. I carefully thought it out. I picked a softball that I knew she had an answer to, but the answer would still be interesting. I figured the only way I could get to ask a question would be to have a softball because surely the staffers would screen the questions. But at the sort of event that this had turned out to be, the only way to ask a question would have been to overpower several security guards and secret service officers in order to steal the microphone away from the senator. Back when I thought it would be a real town-hall kinda thing, I had this fantasy that I would ask a question to which Clinton's response would be so interesting (in a good or a bad way) that it would get all sorts of media play; it would even influence peoples' votes. I would have substantially affected the course of American politics. Perhaps I could have even made her cry, since the media seem so interested in that.

Break?

2007-12-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful Christmas, but because I have so many things I need to get done over break (stats paper, work for K.), it is not a true break. It's not as if I have been working non-stop, but, just as during the semester, relaxing, or watching tv, or hanging out with friends, are all guilt-fraught activities. There's no sense of truly being on a break. I'm continually stressed out, even back in Texas. I cannot wait until May.

Why does Stata hate me?

2007-12-10T12:53:00.000-07:00

We used to have such a good relationship, but now...

Shocking news!

2007-12-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

After a few years of increasing abstinence-only education, teen birth rates are going up for the first time since 1991. Not surprisingly, those states with the highest teen birth rates are those teaching abstinence only, rather than comprehensive sex education. Hmm. As Dr. Carol Hogue, an Emory University professor of maternal and child health, said: "It's not rocket science."*

*Putting on my social scientist cap, I must acknowledge that this could not mean a whole lot in the long run, that this does not necessarily indicate that a long-term upward trend in teen births is beginning, and that correlation does not equal causation.

Lesson learned for the millionth time... Will it finally sink in?

2007-12-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Things that you have been putting off for a long time, and stressing about, are actually a lot easier and less painful when you just do them.

This just about sums up UTD.

2007-12-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

During the midst of an online discussion about UT-Dallas's mascot, and whether or not his name should be changed, there was this comment, by someone named Dwight:

The mascot should be a UTD level 70 blood elf.

Yes, yes, it should be. That or a chess piece. But, you know, comets make sense, too. We are such dorks. Whoosh!

Computer woes update.

2007-12-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

Everything is the same.

Edit, 10:20am: Except now I have internet at home. Woo-hoo!

Oh. This blog is three years old.

2007-12-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

No excited birthday post, though. That would have been over a week ago, anyhow. I am too consumed by my computer woes be overly excited that I have stuck with something this long.

Here was my first-ish post, way back in 2004. This one year old birthday post was written in the computer lab at UTD while studying for finals. This belated two-year birthday post had me wishing for a pet here in Arizona. I still want one.

But, I hope that by the time I am reading this post next year, I will no longer be in Arizona. Yes, dear reader, I am going to leave. Hopefully. If I have the courage to do it. The easiest thing would be to just stay here and stick it out. But I do not like it here. Ideally, one year from now, on the fourth birthday of this blog, I will be working somewhere back in Texas, maybe teaching sociology at a community college. The fifth anniversary of this blog will hopefully see me as a PhD student somewhere else, somewhere not in Tucson or the desert, somewhere with green trees and large bodies of water. Here's hoping.

Incidentally, I did not intend this post to be so revelatory. I have told a few people of my plans, but not many. Well now it's for the world (or at least the one or two people who read this blog) to know.

Happy birthday.

Of course it all happens at the end of the semester.

2007-12-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

At the moment, my old laptop will not start. It will turn on, but Windows never boots, and it soon shuts off. This would not be terribly problematic, as I have not been using this computer at all this semester, except for the fact that in the past week I have spent several hours entering questions into a survey software program, and that time and work may now be lost. I was using that computer because the computer I am on now, the new one that I got at the beginning of this semester, has a non-functioning cd/dvd drive, so I was unable to install the software necessary.

On top of all of this, my internet at home is not working at all. I do not know why.

Why oh why do computer problems hit at the end of the semester?

This happened at the end of last semester as well.

Do you know what he means?

2007-11-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

"A very attractive woman -- looked like she just got finished teaching a sociology class at Bryn Mawr College, if you know what I mean -- she said, 'Senator Biden . . . I came fully prepared to be unimpressed with you.' I said, 'Well, thank you very much.' " --Joe Biden, talking about a woman who challenged him for wearing a flag pin.

I do not, in fact, know what he means. What is he saying about sociology or Bryn Mawr? Have I missed something? Are sociologists supposed to be particularly attractive? Are Bryn Mawr professors? If the former, that has not been my experience.

On the phone, talking to the Qwest person about why my internet is having issues

2007-11-30T09:30:00.001-07:00

"So, what do you do?"
"I'm a grad student."
"Cool. What do you study?"
"Sociology."
"Ahh. So do you want to go into the medical field?"

On the upside...

2007-11-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

CoffeeXChange got new chai, which is less gross than before. Though, now, it is less like chai and more like some spiced milk that tastes vaguely of apple pie filling. I won't be coming for the chai, but now I won't completely avoid coffexchange because of the undrinkable chai.

What is it with Tucson coffee shops always playing 70s and 80s Paul McCartney songs?

2007-11-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

That is my only question.

Unexpected turn of events.

2007-11-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

[I wrote this a week ago while sitting in the Tucson airport. For some reason it saved as a draft and did not post. Bear in mind that as I wrote this I hadn't slept in over 24 hours. I just got back from Texas yesterday.]

If you had asked me this time yesterday what I would be doing I would have probably said, “working on my orgs paper,” (though I would have been thinking, “procrastinating from working on my orgs paper.”). I would certainly not have guessed that I would be in an airport waiting to fly to DFW. Well, to Houston, then on to DFW. Yet that is precisely where I am.

Due to a series of unfortunate events, many involving my apartment, and others relating to my general melancholy and dislike of Tucson, I am going home for Thanksgiving. Prior to 6:00 this morning, I had wanted to go home, but had viewed it as highly impractical. Not only was I going to be home for Christmas break in a few weeks anyway, but I had a lot of work to do. Yet this morning, while trying to sleep in my office (which, incidentally, is lacking a couch or anything remotely comfortable), I decided that going home was a possibility. Of course, by that point had been awake 24 hours, so what was my judgment worth?

I called my mom, expecting and half-hoping to be talked out of this nonsense. But my mom was at work and I got my dad, who was very concerned and enthusiastic about my coming home (my mom was as well, once I actually spoke to her). After having several internet-related mishaps, I finally called Continental (on the actual telephone! so old school!) to purchase my tickets for this morning.

On a quick stop at Target on the way to the airport, I noticed a baby bib with a sailboat on it, and decided that my as-yet-unborn nephew had to have it. I should have known better than to wander into the baby section. I walked out with all manner of onesies, tiny jackets, socks, shirts, and the most adorable little shoes you've ever seen.

Despite my detour, I arrived at the airport a dutiful 2.5 hours early. This seems excessive for Tucson International Airport, but that's what the local radio had been advising for days. I had paid attention, not out of any actual belief that it may pertain to me, but out of a wishful thinking that ended up being realized. Turns out, it might have been better had I not listened. I got through check-in and security faster than I ever have at any airport. The airport also seems emptier than I have ever seen it. Not only that, but my flight itself has been delayed because of weather. This could be problematic if it results in me getting into Houston too late to catch my flight to DFW.

I know my last post was about gender being problematic and how we should stop caring so much about it...

2007-11-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

But.

What kind of a dataset does not contain the gender of its respondents, and then forces me to go find another dataset in the same study and merge the two together?

Edit at 4:25 PM: Okay, so that was not all that difficult to deal with. But, still.

seriously.

2007-11-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

All these awful ideas we have about "gender," men trying to be "masculine" and women trying to be "feminine"--they're unhealthy, unnatural, and in the past few days I've seen people really hurting because of it. Gender, the system of ideas that we've built up around biological sex, is the cause of a lot of pain. And it's easy to just tell people "don't worry about society! Be who you are!" but we all have to interact in a society that tells people how to be and judges them when they do not conform.

Why can't we just value the things associated with masculinity and femininity, no matter who does them? Why do things culturally associated with women, such as caring and nurturing and emotionality, have to be devalued when they are done by women and seen as suspect when done by men? Of course, a lot of it has to do with power, etc. But I guess I'd much rather complain about it than think about ways of challenging it. Ideas?

In gender-related news: today I find out if I am going to have a niece or a nephew, and I am excited! Actually, that's not so much "gender"-related as "sex"-related. Luckily for my niece or nephew at the moment, he or she has not confronted gender as an ideology yet and can just be who she or he is.

procrastination.

2007-11-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Typically, when I have something I do not want to work on, it is quite easy to find various other things to fill up my time. I can read some news, talk on AIM, clean my apartment, read a book, waste time on facebook, etc. Very rarely do I actually run out of things to waste time doing without at that point being compelled to start working on research, papers, RA work, etc. Yet here I am, sitting in my office, having checked facebook, gone through all my normal news sites and blogs, talked to everyone who is online, and I cannot find anything left to do but work on actual work. And I cannot bring myself to do that. What, dear readers, should I do?

Oh snap!

2007-11-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

Many of you are aware of my (perhaps slightly creepy) fascination with the Supreme Court. Well, while driving to go get some pickles from Safeway at 1:00 this morning, I caught a BBC interview with former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. I drove around for about 30 minutes to listen to it (thus causing me to miss my pickle opportunity; by the time I got back to Safeway it was closed.), and Sandy Baby was getting slightly exasperated at the British interviewer.

Though she expressed dismay over the lack of women on the SCOTUS, when the interviewer started to mention it, O'Connor was quick to point out that Britain wasn't doing much better in terms of women in the judiciary. She corrected the reporter's "unfortunate terms" several times, including: "swing vote," "activist judge," "sides" [in terms of taking sides, a liberal side, a conservative side], "political," etc.

The interviewer kept mentioning the court's role in hot-button social issues, and O'Connor was really reluctant to talk about it; she kept saying variants of "as I already explained to you," or "as I said earlier," followed by claims that the justices rule on the merits, not on ideology. You can tell she was getting rather annoyed by the route this interview was going down. And then the interviewer brought up Bush v. Gore. O'Connor's main defense for her own position here is that "it didn't change the outcome." The reporter kind of accepted her story, but I kept thinking that that is the most idiotic excuse for 1) taking a case that should not have even been heard by SCOTUS, and 2) making a decision that went against precedent and then saying that this case does not make precedent and cannot be applied to other decisions.

Regardless of the fact that it is in fact not "obvious" that Bush v. Gore did not affect who won the Presidency, even had it not, that doesn't legitimate the Court's decision. I don't even understand that logic. I don't think she does either, and if the spate of recent "insider" books about the Supreme Court mean anything, she came to regret that decision (though not so much as Souter, who almost resigned over it).

But, anyway, I really did enjoy hearing her, and hearing her get annoyed at the interviewer reminded me of good times listening to oral arguments when she would get frustrated with the lawyers. I often didn't agree with her judicial opinions, but I really do like her. Also, I am glad that she is involved in work to educate people about the court and to maintain judicial independence. With people like John Cornyn rationalizing violence against judges, and the cries against "activist" judges growing louder and louder, someone needs to be standing up to educate the American public on the necessity of a judicial branch that is truly independent.

Rep. Barney Frank on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act

2007-11-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

I love articles in medicine and public health journals.

2007-11-09T00:36:00.000-07:00

I especially love them when I am trying to read an article quickly. Not only do they tend to be on the short side, their abstracts are much cooler than social science abstracts. They tell you, in individual sections, yet briefly, the research questions, the methods, the results, and the conclusions. I suppose that they realize that their primary audience (professional practitioners, not necessarily academics) does not really care to read 50 pages of their rambling. Go them!

(Not all journals in those fields are like that, but the few I've had exposure to [granted, not being among their primary audience] have conformed to this pattern of practical, summarizing abstracts and short texts.)

Pat Robertson endorses Rudy Giuliani?

2007-11-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

I don't get it. Rudy Giuliani, who is apparently running for President of 9/11 or something, has managed to get Pat Robertson's endorsement. This bears repeating: Rudy G., who is pro-gay rights and pro-abortion rights has been endorsed by a man who agreed with Jerry Falwell when he said that the 9/11 attacks were caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People For the American Way."

What I don't get, exactly, is Robertson's motivation. The Christian Right has recently (with good cause) been complaining about the fact that the Republican Party takes them for granted. This endorsement is a no-win position for Robertson. If Giuliani loses the national race (presuming he wins the nomination), then a Democrat is in the White House (I assume Robertson wouldn't like that). If Giuliani wins, that proves to Republicans that you can win as a pro-choice, pro-gay candidate, allowing them to further ignore the Christian Right. What does Robertson see that he is getting out of this? Closeness to power?

I don't get why the whole of the Christian Right is ignoring Huckabee. He seems perfectly made for them. But, alas, I guess it comes down to the fact that the CR, like most in politics, are less interested in principle than in power. Giuliani is electable, and Huckabee isn't. And he won't be without some major CR endorsement. He's kind of stuck. He can't get an endorsement until he's electable, but he won't be electable without an endorsement.

Also, what about Mitt Romney? If Robertson can get over Giuliani's policy standpoints, he should be able to get over Romney's Mormonism, especially because they agree a lot more on these issues that the Republican Party always likes the Christian Right to push as wedge issues. Robertson says his endorsement comes as a recognition of the threat that "radical Islam" poses to our country. So, if he's looking for someone to aggressively continue the policies of the Bush administration, you'd think Romney and his "we ought to double Guantanamo" stance would be ideal.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I just don't get it. Anyone care to explain it to me?

Lovely Saturday.

2007-10-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

Recently, because of my sleep deprivation during the week, I have been sleeping 12+ hours on Friday nights, sleeping away half of the day on Saturday. I slept around 12 hours last night, however, I went to bed at 6pm and woke up at 6 this morning. So far I've done some reading, done some cleaning, and gone for a walk outside. The weather is finally getting nice in Tucson!

I forgot how lovely mornings are. Usually I'm in such a rush to get to the office or to get to work in the mornings (or, on Saturdays, sleeping!) that I don't fully appreciate them. I think I am going to go to the Farmer's Market today and then come home and clean some more and try to find a good canned dataset for my stats paper.

Incidentally,

2007-10-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sarah Collins is my hero.

This has been a truly horrific week.

2007-10-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

But as each awful thing keeps piling on, I keep thinking that this, in a certain light, could easily be a comedy, as much as a tragedy. If my life were a film, that is. It's so comically absurd. The piling on of bad thing upon bad thing is not unlike this from this summer, but more serious than loosing a shoe in a street/river.

Maybe it will have a happy resolution. But right now all I can do is sit in my office and cry, even though I have things I need to have finished in about 26 minutes.

This really is the most awful week.

statistical sadness

2007-10-23T01:37:00.001-07:00

I've been reading an article for statistics tomorrow, a paper that applies multi-level modeling, which we've been learning about. The authors are looking at what indicators predict relationship changes among couples during the transition to parenthood.

Anyway, one of the predictors for increases in conflict and decreases in love is neuroticism. Now, I had a vague concept of what neuroticism meant, but I decided to go look it up. It sounded suspiciously like me in some ways. Wikipedia says: "It can be defined as an enduring tendency to experience negative emotional states. Individuals who score high on neuroticism are more likely than the average to experience such feelings as anxiety, anger, guilt, and depression. They respond more poorly to environmental stress, and are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult."

So, I went and took the inventory used in the paper I'm reading, the NEO-PIR, to see where I fell on the scale of neuroticism. Turns out: "Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional." I was rated "high" on all of the indicators (depression, anxiety, self-consciousness, vulnerability) for the variable except for anger, for which I was rated "low," and immoderation, for which I was rated "average."

While these characteristics are not particularly good characteristics to have, the inventory results were not as disheartening as the paper's assertion that "neuroticism is the personality characteristic most consistently linked with negative relationship outcomes."

Who knew reading for statistics could be so depressing? Oh wait. There I go displaying my neuroticism again.

and the world was as it should be.

2007-10-21T09:10:00.001-07:00

If you go to NYTimes.com and look, right now, on the top searches list, you will find both Dumbledore and Colbert on there, side by side. This is my kind of news day. Stephen Colbert is running for President and Albus Dumbledore is gay.

How did I miss this?

2007-10-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

In all the years I've been driving, I have never learned to successfully parallel park. The more surprising part of this is that I was not aware that I could not parallel park until I tried to do so this morning.

Ron Paul.

2007-10-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

Man, I dislike Ron Paul supporters. I've met a few in person and they seem reasonable. But as a group, something happens and they become rabid. They put stickers everywhere, on buildings, road signs, and light posts. I even had a Ron Paul sticker put on my car. I see people randomly walking around Tucson with signs that say "Google Ron Paul." There is a house nearby with a huge Ron Paul banner hanging from it. I suspect a lot of these people are not aware of Ron Paul's positions on a lot of things (for instance, wanting to get rid of the department of education).* They like that he's an anti-war, anti-establishment Republican (and, to be fair, that's not nothing!).

And, now, if you look at the Stephen Colbert for President groups on Facebook, they've taken over those, too! Every other post is about Ron Paul. I suspect they figure that people disillusioned enough about the political process to support Stephen for president are disillusioned enough to support Ron Paul.

*A few times I've asked Ron Paul volunteers about his position on things like gay marriage, separation of church and state, and other things where he does not take the typical libertarian position. They seemed largely unaware of where he stood. Well, dear reader, he is for federal regulation of marriage (perhaps the only thing he's for the federal regulation of!!) and against the separation of church and state (and for me to be saying this, well, that's something. I'm for more religion in the public sphere--though not for more religion in government).

Edit: Thanks to commenter Brent, I realized that I was wrong. Ron Paul is not in favor of federal regulation of marriage, as I had previously mentioned. See the comments for more discussion.

Hard things.

2007-10-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Linking "truth" and "kindness" is pretty tough.

He Is America (And So Can You!)

2007-10-17T02:27:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert Running For President
Uploaded by VitalizePT

Lovely morning.

2007-10-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

Since about 7 this morning I have been half sitting, half laying in bed with some hot chai, watching Little Women. I know that I'm wasting time and should be at the office getting things done. But, really, this is lovely. I wish I could begin every day like this.

Pro-life feminism.

2007-10-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a pro-life feminist. I am a feminist, and I oppose abortion. However, my expression of that is not to criminalize abortion, as I am aware that criminalization will simply serve to increase the number of underground abortions, which hurt both fetal life and womens' lives. Rich and well-connected women will have access to safe underground abortion procedures and working class and poor women will have to resort to less safe means. If being pro-life means anything, it means being against unnecessary taking and risking of life, be it fetal or not.

While an organization such as Feminist for Life would ideally be a group I could get behind, it turns out that they are primarily for criminalization of abortion (they are also opposed to birth control, etc.). The Nation's Katha Pollit has a piece on this group. It's disappointing that there is no explicitly pro-life feminist organization that seeks to reduce the number of abortions while also working for womens' equality in other areas.

But then I realized that such organizations do exist, primarily in the form of Planned Parenthood. They are a feminist organization that prevents more abortions each year than we can possibly imagine. They understand the importance of education and access to birth control in preventing abortion. It's interesting that they get so vilified by "pro-life" politicians and media. I think it's an indication that what they're opposed to is not abortion per se, but womens' freedom and control over their own reproduction. If they were interested in reducing abortion out of a genuine concern for life, they would be giving to Planned Parenthood rather than protesting it.

Part of being opposed to abortion is making sure that women don't feel that abortion is their only option when they do become pregnant. This includes ensuring that they have access to affordable pre- and post-natal health care as well as health care for adults and children. This includes the availability of affordable child care so women are able to work to support their families. This means having a legitimately pro-family set of national policies. Unfortunately, and ironically, those politicians who have a tendency to label themselves as "pro-life" and "pro-family" are often the least interested in such policies.

I went to see Elizabeth: The Golden Age today.

2007-10-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

I have to say, it's very biased against poor Mary, Queen of Scots. Mary also has a Scottish accent in the film, which makes no sense. She would have spoken French.

It made Mary out to be a pretty awful plotter on Elizabeth's life, and that isn't historically unambiguous. It's not clear exactly what went down. Poor Mary gets a bad historical rap.

Oh well, the movie was okay. I just have to remember that it's like the Fox News of 16th century politics. All bias, no nuance, but it sure is sensational!

Sociology shout out!

2007-10-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

In I am America (And So Can You!), Stephen Colbert mentions an ASR piece. I'm too lazy at the moment to look up the citation or to even quote the relevant passage from the Colbert book, but, it's in the chapter on religion, where he is discussion atheists.

He mentions the Edgell et. al study published in the American Sociological Review which indicates that atheists are the most socially disliked group in the U.S.

Subway Saga

2007-10-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

So, I used to go to a particular Subway in Tucson. And, without fail, I would always get this one guy behind the counter who did not know how to make a veggie sandwich (or any sandwich) properly. They were impossible to eat without spilling everywhere because he would make them in such a way that it did not close properly. It's not that he put more veggies in it, it's more to do with how he placed the veggies inside the bread. I know that I'm not making much sense. I wish I could illustrate this somehow. Either way, this was really frustrating. I know it sounds like a minor, trivial thing. And, I guess it is. But it's annoying because you know this guy would construct a much better sandwich if he himself were going to consume it. Anyway, I stopped going to that Subway. This was not just because of the Incompetent Sandwich Artist, but also because the veggies were always kind of wilting and one time I got a look into the kitchen and decided never to go back into that store again.

So, they remodeled the store and, seemingly, hired all new staff. So I went back. And sure enough, I've had competently constructed sandwiches several times since the re-opening. And the veggies look a lot more fresh. But, today, I walked in, and my nemesis was standing there. There were two people making sandwiches, so I calculated the chances of his being the one to make my sandwich given the people in line and the speed at which the line was moving. After realizing that it was inevitable that he was going to be the one to make my sandwich I feigned a need to return to my car, thus giving up my spot in the line and returning to hopefully have better luck.

I returned, and it appears to have worked. I get to the front of the line and the other worker asked, "What can I get started for you today?" Get started?! I thought panicking, no! You need to make the sandwich! But I said, "six inch veggie on wheat, please," with my fingers crossed. He cuts the bread, asks what cheese I would like (provolone, if you're curious), and if I would like it toasted. I say yes, and he places it in the toaster. I begin to panic as I see him remove his gloves and then head to the back. The Sandwich Destroyer moves in front of me, smiles, and then takes my sandwich out of the toaster. "What vegetables would you like?"

I think for a moment, considering if there were ways to minimize the damage, by selectively including vegetables that will not create such a mess. But I decide that compromising would just let the sandwich terrorist win. So I ask for my usual, lettuce, tomato, onion, and banana peppers and ranch dressing.

I would like to tell you, dear reader, that this time the sandwich was normal and okay. But I cannot. I watched on with horror as he piled the veggies on, and then, without closing the sandwich properly (again, I know it's not clear how he is ruining my dinner; I will draw a picture and next time I am near a scanner I will scan it in so you can see), wraps it up. I ate it, but not without considerable distress and much napkin-ing. I also lost about half of the lettuce.

I am America (And So Can You!); also, Hypocrite Huckabee

2007-10-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert's book, I am America (And So Can You!) came out today. I've promised myself that if I finish my reading for ethnography, I can go buy the book.

Also: so, though I disagree with him on a lot, I kind of like Mike Huckabee... he seems like a nice enough guy. But, he just defended Rush Limbaugh (who said that troops who use their first amendment rights to dissent about the Iraq war were "phony soldiers"), arguing that Congress should not censure him for this attack upon the troops because Limbaugh has his first amendment right to free speech. I agree with him here. What Rush Limbaugh said may have been personally distasteful and disrespectful to our troops, but I don't think Congress should be "censuring" him for it. What makes Huckabee's stance hypocritical, however, is that just a while ago he was harshly criticizing Hillary Clinton for failing to vote for a measure to censure MoveOn.org for their "General Betray Us?" ad. So... Mike Huckabee believes in free speech only when he agrees with that speech?

Inconvenience.

2007-10-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

The apartment complex I live in has a very small parking lot. When I hired a moving company to help me move in, the truck they used made it so that no one else could maneuver into or out of the parking lot. I felt kinda bad, especially as I was moving only 10 blocks away. But there was no way that my little car would be able to transport things such as bookshelves. There was no way, however, that I needed a semi trailer for my boxes of books and my bookshelves.

Anyway, yesterday I had a flat tire. I aired it up and thought everything was fine. But I went out this morning and saw that it was flat again. I had a spare donut tire, but no jack. So I decided I might as well take advantage of Kia's free roadside assistance. Why not? Well, they contract out with local companies, and the local company that came to change my tire arrived in a honking huge tow truck. I had to go out to sign some papers, and saw angry looking residents unable to get their cars out of the lot. No doubt they were wondering why I was incapable of changing the tire myself. That's a fair question. I hope I am not now associated in their minds with bringing huge, unnecessary, inconvenient trucks into their parking lots in order to perform seemingly simple tasks.

Random political thoughts.

2007-10-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

(Because I don't feel like developing each one of these into a proper post. These are mostly stream of consciousness rants. Feel free to skip this post.)

Torture is never pro-life, no matter how you try to justify it.
What is with Rush Limbaugh calling soldiers who dissent from the President "phony soldiers"? So, he just likes soldiers and vets when they serve his agenda?
Mike Huckabee is probably the Republicans' best bet, but they're never going to realize that, as a party. They'll end up with Romney or Giuliani. This might be a function of the compressed primary cycle, where the frontrunners are going to win it all. Hello, Hillary.
How clever were the Dems to make President Bush veto a health care for kids bill (SCHIP)? I mean, it's a good bill, but it was total political theater. And good on them! Usually it's the Repubs who manage to manipulate the media effectively; the democrats usually come off a wimps. Well, actually, the Democrats usually are wimps. As much as I hate the "political game," I'm glad the Democrats are gaining some competency at it.
How disgusting is this whole Blackwater thing?
War, incidentally, is not pro-life, either. One can make a case for it, and perhaps even justify it, but it's never "pro-life."
How funny was it that Fred Thompson had to ask an audience for applause?
How funny is the Fred Thompson/James Dobson debacle?
"General Betray Us" was cheesy and ineffective. But how is that different than how Max Cleland and other soldier candidates have been smeared? Don't feign outrage about this one.
I want to read Clarence Thomas's new biography. It will probably make me sad. But I still want to read it.
Wouldn't it be funny if Giuliani got nominated and the Christian Right decided not to vote for him and went for a third party candidate instead?
Why do Ron Paul people insist upon putting stickers everywhere?
And how is Ron Paul raising money? Who is giving to that campaign, knowing it is going nowhere?

Welcome to the Pessimism Express, I'll be your conductor this evening.

2007-10-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's very disheartening when you go to print your reading for the next week at Kinkos and find out that your order qualifies for a "volume discount."

Sarah suggested that at the rate I'm printing, it would probably be a better investment to go ahead and buy my own printer. She's probably right.

So, it didn't quite work out as planned.

2007-10-05T03:41:00.000-07:00

I did indeed do my "strategic slacking." I even skipped class, when, sure, I was feeling sick, but not sick enough that I couldn't sit through three hours. Yet here I am, dear reader, at 3:45 am, just now finished with work able to get to bed. And I still have a million emails from the course of this week that I need to get to. And who knows how long it will take me to get to sleep. This pattern is not sustainable. I am in dire need of some organization. That is my goal for this weekend. Organizing and getting ahead. Cross your fingers for me.

Strategic slacking.

2007-10-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

So, this week is completely crazy. In fact, this semester has been generally crazy from the beginning. But I think I know how I am going to get ahead. For one of my Thursday classes I have to finish reading a book I have barely started and write a memo on it. Now, the book itself looks interesting, and I hope to read it one day. But tomorrow is not that day. During this class, we have two weeks of memos that we are allowed to skip. I have already used one, due to a technological issue that made it impossible for me to get the memo out on time. But I think I'm going to use my second and final one this week, and hope that in doing so I can get back on track.

During the time I save tomorrow, I will do my reading and write my memo for my Friday class (a book and three articles) and well as get a bunch of RA work done. This weekend I will not only get ahead for the next week, but I will also decide definitively on a Master's plan. I am so far behind, it's not even funny.

Incidentally, the weather in Tucson was beautiful today. Everyone else was complaining about it. It was gray and overcast, with occasional sprinkles. I felt more optimistic about Arizona than usual today. I think a nontrivial amount of this may have been due to the weather. I think I have the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder; gray skies make me feel good and clear, sunny days are associated with increased depressive affect. Tucson was not a good choice.

Do you ever feel like your life is a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but you can't skip a few decisions ahead and return if necessary?

2007-09-30T01:38:00.000-07:00

Whenever I read CYOA books, I would always read a few twists and turns ahead before deciding for real on a particular course of action. I wish life were like that: before a major decision, you could travel that route a while, or see into the future, before absolutely committing.

Alas.

Who knew?

2007-09-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that I disagree with the current political consensus in Texas on most issues, and the fact that G.W. Bush was our Governor, and many other things that cause many progressive people to have a deep antipathy towards Texas, I think it might just be the best state.

Public school was largely ineffective in inculcating a sense of national pride. Don't get me wrong, I love my country. But I see, quite clearly, its faults, and they sadden me. They succeeded, however, in instilling in me a sense that Texas is completely unique and something quite special. I didn't realize how much state pride I had until I was no longer there. I tried to grow some bluebonnets here (state flower, for you unfortunate non-Texans), and they died. This is probably my fault, though, not necessarily Arizona's.

Was your state ever its own country? Can your state split into four (five?) others at will? Can your state fly its flag as high as the U.S. flag? Do you have an Alamo? I didn't think so.*

*Um, so, this is not entirely true. The thirteen original colonies were, for a time, separate states until the ratification of the first US Constitution. Also, the Republic of Vermont and the Bear Flag Republic (California) were countries before becoming states.

What does this mean?

2007-09-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see people doing good things, or standing up for something they don't necessarily have a stake in, I am very touched, and tend to start crying (depending on sleep levels, etc. I cry a lot when I have a lack of sleep. This is really common lately.) So when I see people going down to support the Jena 6, for example, I tear up. Or when I see people protesting the war. Or when I hear stories of people harboring Jews during the Holocaust. Or even something as simple as people volunteering at a soup kitchen.

So, here's the worrisome part: I tend not to tear up at unequal justice systems or the mere fact of homeless people. I don't cry when I think about children without health insurance, and I don't break down when I see war coverage. Sure, each of these things makes me upset and could make me cry. Goodness knows I've bawled at enough stories about soldiers. But--the quickest way to get an emotional response out of me is to show me people reacting to it, doing good deeds. Remember that story CNN covered a while back, about the kid in Iraq who was disfigured? What got to me most was not the story itself, but the comments and responses, and eventually, the Americans who provided the means for his family to come to the U.S. and have restorative surgery.

What does this say about me? I thought about this for a while today. (Introspection is a good way to procrastinate.) Perhaps it indicates that I am too cynical: I expect the world to suck and to be unfair. I don't expect people to care enough to try to fix the injustices, so that is emotionally surprising, not resonant with the way in which I intuitively understand the world. And that's scary... that on some level I accept the horrors of the world as inevitable, but don't expect people to fix it.

Friday curse

2007-09-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

This is the second week in a row in which I have managed to lock my keys in my office.

w00t!

2007-09-17T18:47:00.001-07:00

You no longer have to pay for TimesSelect!

How sad is it that this was inspired by "Body and Soul"*?

2007-09-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

Since I've come back from Texas this summer I've been on and off sick the entire time. In addition, despite working out semi-regularly, I've gained weight. This is not surprising, as I have been less than regular about taking my thyroid medicine, and been eating not entirely healthily. Because of a refrigerator mishap that I took my sweet time about dealing with, for the first few weeks I subsisted solely on takeout, things like Subway (not so bad) and Panda Express (awful). Even now, with a working, non-smelly refrigerator, I still find myself eating out a lot. And I have rediscovered Wendy's Caesar salad dressing. Which is one of the nutritionally worst salad dressings ever. But one of the best tasting.

So, here's the thing. I'm now counting on you blog people to keep me accountable. I am going to re-start the diet I was on the summer before last. Which means going back to eating meat, primarily boneless skinless chicken breast. Ugh, it gets old after a while. But I'm going to stick with it. Except for perhaps one exception of using salad dressing that has sodium in it. I know it can work. My mom lost a lot of weight on it and looks wonderful (hi, Mom!). It didn't work when I last tried it due to unknown thyroid problems. But they are now known, and I am (supposedly) taking medicine for it.

So, here I go. Starting tomorrow, I am working out every morning, and following this diet. Wish me luck!

*Which, for all of you non-sociologists, is a book by Loic Wacquant about his ethnographic study of a Chicago boxing gym.

Edit, 10:56--I might not start first thing tomorrow. I will definitely be working out tomorrow. But I still need to go grocery shopping, which I won't get to until tomorrow evening. Then, I will start.

book-related misadventures.

2007-09-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

In the past week I've been dealing with problems having to do with books, some of these problems are with Amazon and one is with the University of Arizona library.

I'd write more about it now, but the library problems were around 2 this morning, when I decided to go check some books out, and ended up staying until around 4 to get it all straightened out. So, in short, I am too tired to write.

I'll update you soon, though, have no fear!

I kind of blame this on Travis.

2007-09-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

I should never have started watching The Office. But now that I have, I can't stop. So, because I'm too busy* to create a real post, you get these two Pam and Jim videos I found on Youtube.

*Too busy watching The Office, that is. Watching The Office is also making me too busy to do my real work.

Note to all kindergarten teachers: there is a break in the pipeline somewhere.

2007-09-07T02:48:00.000-07:00

There are some who have reached the age at which they can drive themselves and another person to a restaurant but who have yet to master the concept of an "inside voice."

Note: while I am studying, I do not care to hear you describe what you are eating to your friend on the phone. If I were sitting next to you, or even a few feet from you, I realize that hearing your voice would be unavoidable. Sure. But if you are across the room, and there are several other people and groups of people sitting, talking, closer to me than you are, and I can hear vague mumbles from them, but distinct words and sentences and freaking paragraphs from you, you are not using your inside voice. And when you're describing all the movies you've seen in the past year to your "date"? Not only does hearing your voice annoy me, but so does your cinematic taste.

(I'm sorry to be such a complainer of late. I'm not getting enough sleep and am amazingly busy. However, you do have to admit that you kind of sign on for this sort of thing, when you read a blog that has "rants and ravings" in its title.)

Dear Coffe XChange,

2007-09-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

I go into your store regularly to sit and read or study. I am not sure why I keep going, because nearly every time I am there, you are playing a radio station that is playing commercials rather than music at least half of the time. Maybe it's just me and my almost attention deficit disorder, but I get distracted anytime there is talking near me. I cannot concentrate on one thing while a conversation is going on around me, when that conversation is as loud as your sound system is. I have, over the years, learned to be able to listen to music with words while studying, but I have not yet perfected these skills when it comes to commercials and talk show hosts.

Now, I do not expect you to change your musical habits because of my (perhaps unique) problem. But, I suspect that most people do not enter into a coffee shop in order to hear someone selling Billy Bob's plumbing services.

Also unhelpful: not having any chai tonight. And when I got a nonfat vanilla latte instead of my chai, I'm pretty sure it was whole milk rather than skim. And, the store was really, really cold.

[Sorry for ranting. I just felt the need to complain.]

Procrastination through irony.

2007-09-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

Instead of working, at the moment I am browsing around on amazon.com, checking out books about procrastination.

Yes, even "Down in the Groove" and "Empire Burlesque."

2007-08-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

Despite the urgings of good taste and logic, I find 1980s Bob Dylan fascinating and wonderful.

Lights, camera, foot tap!

2007-08-30T00:33:00.001-07:00

Why is everyone re-enacting the Senator Craig bathroom incident? Both Slate V and Keith Olbermann used the police report to shoot video reenacting the encounter. I guess with the police report as it was, it was bound to happen. Man, don't ya miss the good old days when parents were upset they had to explain what a blow job was to their children because Clinton was all over the news?

Between Mark Foley, Bob "I was scared so I offered the big black guy a blow job!" Allen, and now Larry "wide stance" Craig (to name a few), the G.O.P. is probably wishing for a good, old fashioned heterosexual sex scandal. But, when they wish for that they end up with Rep. Diaper-man David Vitter.

Now, don't get me wrong. I hate all of the excessive media coverage of this just as much as you. Unlike the kids over at Wonkette, I don't relish all the Republican sex scandals. I think it mostly just obscures the real corruption. Right now we're talking about Larry Craig rather than warrantless wiretapping. But it is kind of sad that the very people who are so very anti-gay are, themselves, so very gay. (As an aside, I hate that there is so much more relish in a "gay" scandal than a "straight" one. I think it is more interesting when the person in question is anti-gay, certainly, because of the inherent hypocrisy. However, what I object to is this glee not over hypocrisy outed but at the idea of a person you disagree with being gay, because that's bad and awful and funny.)

I love Russ Feingold and Bob Dylan.

2007-08-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

"My next President will be a Bob Dylan fan." *

Why do all the cool kids come from the Midwest?

*For those of you who do not get the reference this video is making, which if my ignorance prior to my Dylan obsession, combined with my friends' lack of Dylan obsession, is any indication, is a good number of you [yes, I am pop culturally illiterate], the reference is to the video to Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues," which I think is kind of brilliant. In fact, here it is for your viewing pleasure:

If Mr. Bean is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

2007-08-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

My 9-to-5 working ambitions are currently being thwarted by a combination of sleeping in and silly videos on youtube.

This is random, and perhaps slightly unnerving to those of you who appreciate privacy, but...

2007-08-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

I am a crazy good Google-stalker.

But, fear not, oh public. I very rarely Google-stalk people*. But I always find out interesting things when I do.

*It's true. You don't have to worry. I do not make a habit of this. Habitual Google-stalkers kind of freak me out, to be honest.

Why can't I get to sleep?

2007-08-13T02:10:00.000-07:00

The answer is because Loki is barking. I can go sit with him, and he stops, but the moment I leave he goes back to the window and begins barking again. I wonder what he's barking at. But, really, I'm too tired to wonder much.

But, I have decided that I want a dog. Loki is wonderful. I've only ever really had cats, and I'd always assumed that I liked cats better than I liked dogs. But, no, dogs seem to be smarter. Or, rather, they seem to be more interested in conveying to you the fact that they know what you're saying. Cats are rather indifferent to your existence unless they decide that they would like someone to pet them.

So, when I ever again find myself in a living situation where I am able to own a pet, I will probably go for the dog, and I have the ever lovely Loki to thank for this.

Use the women-only elevators; and no cross-gender hand-shaking, please!

2007-08-12T00:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updating. I've been busy working and procrastinating! :-)

Anyway, how sad is it that whenever I get bored or cannot sleep, I go look at the campus life policies (dress codes, restrictions on movies, television, internet access, etc.) of conservative Christian colleges?

Recently, I've been checking out Bob Jones University, Patrick Henry College, Pensacola Christian College, and Liberty University. They're awesome.

Among the highlights from various policies:
--10:25 pm curfew, and must sign out of dorm if leaving past 7 pm
--women must wear skirts or dresses; pants are only allowed in womens' residence halls, and shorts are never acceptable
--security cameras outside women's dorms but not mens'
--no contact with the opposite sex without a chaperon
--no secular music whatsoever, unless it is classical
--no Christian rock music, either!
--no movies rated above G may be watched in ones' own home (i.e., not even when you're in the dorm... when you go home for the weekend, too)
--may not attend movie theaters at all, generally
--freshmen and sophomores cannot leave campus unless they are going to their parents' home
--divorced students must get permission from administration before dating any students
--students may not date non-Christians
--students must get parental permission before embarking on any romantic relationship
--in order to marry in the middle of an academic year, couples must get permission from administration
--no meeting with students of the opposite sex off campus
--no staring intensely into the eyes of someone of the opposite sex
--may only use email provided by the university because it has a filter (this includes for school-related things, as well as personal email)
--may not access the internet on campus on any device that bypasses the university's filters (e.g., PDAs, cell phones)
--no wearing of Abercrombie and Fitch
--separate staircases and elevators for men and women
--no dancing
--women must have "feminine" haircuts and hairstyles
--no physical contact between the sexes (even shaking hands)
--must find a church in the area to attend, and inform the administration of this church, as well as have a minister in that church sign off each semester that you have attended 80% of the time, at least
--hair or clothing "related to a counterculture" is unacceptable

These are all, of course, in addition to the "normal" ones you might find at more "moderate" Christian colleges, such as no pornography, no homosexuality, no premarital sex, no rated R movies, etc.

Why do I find these so awesome? Is there something wrong with me?

(maybe) DC bound!

2007-08-07T18:37:00.001-07:00

Forget Mr. Smith, Ms. Bridges is going to Washington.

A post to make you feel better about your day.

2007-07-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I blog because I need to share my opinion, sometimes because I'm bored, and sometimes because I haven't posted anything in a few days and want to at least have something posted from the last week or so. And then sometimes I post for you, the reader. By reading such posts, you are bound to feel better about how your day has gone. Just a few examples of these from the past year can be found here (in which the water turns off in my apartment, right after I had lathered up my head with shampoo) and here (in which a trip to the store turns disastrous).

Today was just as fun. I felt like the pathetic character in some tragicomedy, watching everything go wrong, powerless to stop it.

The day started normally enough. I woke up, worked on some work stuff, and was mostly lazy, reading some blogs and some Harry Potter message boards. Then I had to head out for a doctor appointment. Easy enough, right? Well, it was raining outside. Hard. My umbrella was, of course, in my car. And, for some reason, none of the jackets I have with me in Tucson have hoods. So, in order to reach my car, I put on a bath robe over my clothes and a shower cap over my hair. The shower cap worked. The robe failed miserably, not only letting the clothes underneath become soaked, but leaving me with a huge soaking robe in my car.

Either way, I was in the car, and that was a plus. But as soon as I get out on the roads, it's clear that this isn't going to be an easy trip. At one point I got into what was perhaps too deep a patch of water. My car started sliding along with the water, finally being stopped on its course by the curb. Never have I been so happy to run into the curb on the side of the road.

I finally get to the doctor and have my appointment. Then I have to head to campus for a meeting. Easier said than done. The roads are now worse than ever, especially the roads near campus. Two attempted routes to my parking garage are blocked by police cars warning that the water is to deep to drive. I finally find my way into a garage. Just as I enter, a loud crash of thunder sounds and the lights in the garage turn off and several car alarms sound.

I prepare to get out and make my way to the soc building, determined to brave any and all bad weather, with my umbrella now by my side. I get to the first road I must cross and find that the water depth is somewhere between my ankles and my knees--and it's moving pretty swiftly. I brave on, reminding myself of the many times during The Oregon Trail during middle and elementary school that I decided to ford the river rather than pay for a ferry.

Just as happened during many a river fording back in the day, my fording of the flooded street failed. The failure was not immediately apparent. At first, I lost control of my shoe, which just flitted off my foot and started gushing down the river/street. Still feeling in control of the situation, I run after the shoe, at one point putting out my umbrella into the rushing water, trying to watch the shoe as if in a net. This is unsuccessful, merely serving to flip the umbrella out, inverting it, and breaking one of the metal pieces. I continue to run after the shoe. I am, at this point, running in mid-leg-length water, completely soaked. But it got worse. I tripped over something--a rock, a hole in the ground, someone else's escaped shoe, or my own two feet, it's not clear--and fell. Right into the water. Any bit of me that had remained dry during the shoe chase was now wet and cold.

I decided to give up on the meeting. I couldn't really walk into the soc building literally soaking, with one shoe on. So as I watched my shoe sail away, I decided to head back to the car, not bothering to fix the umbrella. What was the point at this point?

After a dejected, one-shoed walk back to the car, I called the person I was to meet with, and said that I need to go home and change shoes because I lost mine in the flood. I didn't mention the fall, or say that I need to go home to completely change my clothes, but I needed to do that as well.

When I get home, I realize that the only other shoes I have in Tucson are dress shoes. My sandals died and several pairs of tennis shoes are in Denison. So, my options are going to a shoe store with one shoe on, or going into a shoe store with two dress shoes on, while not wearing dressy clothes (I wasn't after all, about to go dress up simply to go to a shoe store. I'd been through enough). I choose option number 2. Around this time, the person I was meeting with called to say that the office had been closed due to a leak and that we should meet tomorrow morning.

Fine. But I still needed to go get shoes. So, again, I made my way through absurdly flooded streets. But I finally got shoes. And I just now got home.

Was your day better than this?*

*I do realize, of course, that most people in the world are having a worse day than this. What with war, genocide, and poverty, some would love a day where getting stuck in the rain is their biggest problem. Indeed, today wasn't so bad for me. It was mostly funny. In retrospect.

Snape is Heathcliff.

2007-07-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

I was re-organizing my books in order to avoid the real cleaning that needs to be done, and got sucked into a little bit of Wuthering Heights. And I realized that Snape is Heathcliff. Their physical descriptions are similar, they're both motivated by tragic love, and they're both often cruel. And they both fascinate me as characters. And, clearly, this means that James Potter is Edgar Linton. I'm cool with that. I was always kind of apathetic about them both.

I was right about him (Snape), incidentally. After all the people who would approach me just to argue whenever I would wear my "Snape is innocent" shirt, I feel the need to gloat a little bit.

What kind of Liberal Are You?

2007-07-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

I am, however, obviously a fan of Jesus.