rationalization

As recently described, I have re-discovered Gone With the Wind. But I feel guilty about it. I should not enjoy this book that so clearly glamorizes the Old South and sympathizes with most of its racist tendencies. So, what do I do? I go out and buy books about it. I got in the mail today two books that, I believe, will be very critical of the racial politics of the book.

One looks at GWTW and its female fans, and I suspect it will deal with the balance between its progressive-for-its-time feminism and its larger nostalgia and racism. The other looks at GWTW as a reflection of its historical era (1920s-1940s) and "recasts" it in terms of that culture and its political systems.

Hopefully by reading these more "academic" books about GWTW, I can start to feel less guilty about my love for the original.

Update, 8:32pm: I'm reading the one about GWTW and its female fans, and I'm having a bizarre reaction. I keep wanting to tell these women, "You don't understand it like I do." I somehow want to feel like GWTW is mine, that no one could love it as much as I do. It's weird, particularly given the obvious silliness of it--GWTW is the best selling novel of all time. I suppose it's because for so long I defined myself as "the GWTW girl," and perhaps I'm still attached to that identity. I don't want anyone else to claim it. I mean, I can deal with people being way more into Harry Potter than I am. After all, part of my HP-identity is as a part of a larger fandom. I am a shipper (short for "relationshipper"--I'm for R/H and H/G--Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny to the uninitiated). I read fan-fiction. I am a part of that crazy mass of people who go to midnight book releases and movie showings. With GWTW, it was always just me, and I'm finding it, after all these years, kind of hard to share. I'm not sure what to make of this.

daily optimism

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Putting off something because you dread it will cause you to think the absolute worst of yourself and your situation. When you actually do it, you may find that it's not so bad.

I wish I could tell you what this is in reference to, but, alas, no. I would seem silly with my paranoia.

I've figured it out.

I now know how to watch Scarlett, the movie of Alexandra Ripley's sequel to GWTW. I'll just think about it as fan-fiction. A very institutionalized form of fan-fiction to be sure, but fan-fiction nonetheless. I won't flinch at every mischaracterization or absurdity this way, I'll just take it for what it is.

Update, 6:50pm: It doesn't help.

Update, 7:02pm: Nothing helps.

Update, 8:03pm: I just watched Rhett Butler introduce Belle Watling and one of her, er, girls, to his mother. This isn't just fan-fiction, this is awful fan-fiction. The kind I stop reading after 3 pages in. I hate to say it, but I wish it stuck closer to the book version. And the book was bad.

Update, 8:18pm: Ew.

Update, 8:21pm: Scarlett: "Pansy, go tell Mr. Rhett that Sleeping Beauty [i.e., Scarlett] is back from the Land of Nod." Quoting the movie to you is, at present, the only coherent way of expressing to you, dear reader, how bad this movie truly is. Still, I trudge on.

Update, 8:31pm: Oh no oh no oh no. I think Ashley is about to kiss Scarlett. While she is in his hotel room. While he is in Charleston. The sad part is that I think this actor, Stephen Collins (interestingly, the dad from 7th Heaven!) could make a fair Ashley if he had something in the way of a reasonable script to work with.

Update, 8:35pm: And then Rhett's mother kicks her out of the house?? Where is this even coming from? They're seriously deviating from the plot of the substandard book.

Update, 9:15pm: I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. I've settled on something in between. This is truly horrific.

Update, 9:32pm: Okay, so, I've decided to continue watching, guided by the idea that it has nothing to do with GWTW. It'll be like watching the most recent Mansfield Park "adaptation," I'll disassociate it from the original and appreciate it on its own merits.

Update, 10:08pm: Scratch that. It has no merits.

Update, 10:29pm: Is Rhett seducing that girl? Ew.

Update, 10:38pm: Scarlett is pregnant and I'm pretty sure she should be showing at this point. Oh well. Why should I expect anything to be logically consistent?

Update, 10:59pm: The news of Rhett's re-marriage brings on the baby early. What an innovative plot twist. Yeah, that's not completely predictable.

Update, 11:01pm: They're tying her arms and legs to the bed while she's having the baby? What? This is too bizarre.

Update, 11:04pm: Homemade c-section. Lovely. Just what I wanted to see after dinner.

Update, 11:07pm: Am I really just halfway through this thing? Dear readers, should I stick it out and finish it tonight?

Update, 11:12pm: Why, despite not only my position that this movie has nothing to do with GWTW but also the fact that Timothy Dalton is spectacularly unsuccessful as Rhett, does it give me real pain to see Rhett happily married to someone other than Scarlett? Why do I want to throw things at him?

Update, 11:15pm: I feel I should confess my somewhat unpopular suspicion that, in "real" life (meaning, GWTW as a standalone novel, and apart from official sequels and fan-fiction), I do not believe that Scarlett and Rhett will get back together. Re-read that last chapter and hear the finality in Rhett's voice. No, perhaps that scene discussed above, with Rhett happily married to a decidedly un-Scarlett-like wife, particularly pains me precisely because I believe it could be "true."

Update, 11:38pm: Of course she falls off her horse. The damsel-in-distress thing can get old, though. *Sigh*

Update, 11:39pm: And, of course, she's taken care of by Rhett's new wife. LOL.

Update, 11:41pm: Why does she have to be all creepy?

Update, 11:45pm: Fox hunting is pretty lame.

Update, 11:46pm: Is her cousin, the priest, in love with her??

Update, 12:13am: This might be the nicest thing I'll say about this movie: the guy they have playing Will Benteen is positively perfect. Exactly as I'd imagined him.

Update, 12:22am: This Ashley could be pretty good as well, if only he weren't working with absolute crap, script- and plot-wise.

Update, 12:33am: Yes, indeed, her cousin the priest is in love with her. LOL.

Update, 1:08am: Why am I happy that Rhett's wife is dying?

Update, 1:15am: Bye-bye, Anne.

Update, 1:26am: Okay, so I've started watching it at double speed, stopping to listen to the dialogue at important-seeming scenes.

Update, 1:32am: A murder mystery? wtf.

Update, 1:36am: Rhett to the rescue! Damsel-in-distress again!

Update, 1:41am: How very Bridget Jones...

Update, 1:52am: The real Rhett would bribe someone. He has connections.

Update, 2:05am: And the real Scarlett wouldn't faint.

Update, 2:18am: So, I stayed up for this, Scarlett and Rhett getting back together, and yet when it happens it feel so... wrong...

Update, 2:21am: And, it's over. I'm going to bed! After watching a little bit of the real GWTW to get these people out of my mind.

this happens to other people, right?

Despite my secondary school habits, I am not a fiction person. There is a very good reason for this. Fiction sucks me in. Once I start, I cannot stop. People who read a chapter or two a day are beyond my comprehension. If it's there and unfinished, I bury myself in it until it is finished. So, in the interest of getting something, anything, done, I avoid most fiction.

But when I do become involved with fiction for an extended period of time, I start to think in narration. There will be a running voice in my head, describing what's going on. "She opened the book, without a thought for the stacks of homework piling up on her desk."

Is this normal?

just like old times

Despite a ridiculous amount of more important things to do, I stayed up until 6:30 this morning reading GWTW. This is familiar, just like middle school. But it doesn't work too well with grad school.

wait a minute

So, I was looking at a new Gallup poll indicating what percentage of people would vote for different categories of candidates if they were "generally well-qualified."

Black 94%
Jewish 92%
A woman 88%
Hispanic 87%
Mormon 72%
Married for third time 67%
72 years of age 57%
A homosexual 55%
An atheist 45%

At first, I was like, "wow, we've come a long way from, probably, 10 or 20 years ago." But, then I looked at it again. 8% of the people would not vote for a Jewish person?? Until college, I never knew that "Jewish" was an ethnic category that people didn't like. I knew it was a minority religion, and I knew about the Holocaust, but certainly wouldn't have guessed that there was a present-day racism going on. And, yeah, sadly, the 6% who wouldn't vote for a black person and 13% who wouldn't vote for a Hispanic candidate don't surprise me in the slightest.

12% of people wouldn't vote for a woman?

And I can't figure out how I feel about the homosexual one. On the one hand, hey, 45% of people would vote for a gay person! That's gotta be an improvement over not long ago. But 55% wouldn't.

The atheist thing doesn't surprise me. Either people are more comfortable telling an interviewer they wouldn't vote for an atheist (after all, you're a racist if you say you won't vote for a black person and labeled a Nazi if you won't vote for a Jew) or there's something to this article, and while we're more accepting of minority religions generally we're reinforcing the boundaries between "religious" and "not-religious."

But what I really wonder is about the interaction. Let's face it, when the interviewer asks if you would vote for a woman, an implicitly white woman springs to mind. Black: an implicitly male black person. Gay: a white male gay person. So, what about lesbians? Black women? A female Mormon? A female FLDS Mormon* with the potential problem of sister-wives... are they first ladies along with the first husband? Do they all get to bring inspirational guests to the State of the Union? They're in the marriage, too...

* I realize that the entire point of my post is that barriers and intolerance are breaking down. Yet here I am making fun of a minority religious group. But, come on. Plural marriage is 1) illegal, 2) bad for women and children and probably men. Right? I know I've seen this. Is there a study on this? Either way, I don't feel too bad for making fun of them. But that's not to say I wouldn't vote for them. But it's extremely unlikely they would agree with me on very much.

never a good sign

I just found myself searching google for "gone with the wind fan fiction." I thought this period in my life was over, but it has been reawakened. Is this a genuine resurgence of interest in the best movie and book of all time* or some sort of unconscious attempt to keep me from writing and studying?

*Yes. Despite the racism and the sexism and my love and obsession with, among other things, Harry Potter and the entirety of Jane Austen, I have to admit that 1) GWTW is, if not better, often more satisfying, and that 2) I would never have read either of the others were it not for GWTW, in both direct and indirect ways. In fact, I imagine my life would be very different today were it not for GWTW.

I only wish I were kidding.

I just watched the entire (4 hour long) VH1 100 greatest One-Hit Wonders. For the second time in about a month.

It's not quite as bad as it sounds. The first time I was cleaning the whole time, and this time I got a great deal of writing done during the countdown.

So, Harry Potter.

July 21. The last book. Right after July 13, the Order of the Phoenix movie. I have complex feelings on this last book, but the complex feelings are largely crowded out by extreme excitement and giddiness. Even if it is the very last book, the very last midnight release party, and the end of speculation.

And, because it doesn't deserve its own post, but does deserve to be posted:

I'm currently reading The United States of Wal Mart. John Dicker, while discussing Wal Mart's strategies for keeping people in the store so that they buy more (retailtainment), mentions having in-store concerts, book signings, or cooking classes.

"Readers wishing to meet bestselling authors like Nicholas Sparks or Timothy LaHaye may suddenly realize they need trash-can liners (if their subconscious is in working order)."

Haha. Too corny. Yet too true.

Molly Ivins

Molly Ivins has just died of breast cancer. Besides being wonderfully smart and witty, she was courageous, speaking truth to power with amazing clarity. She realized that, sometimes, the best thing you can do to a bad idea is to laugh at it, exposing the inherent ridiculousness of it. It was through reading her columns my freshman year of college that I was first able to realize that my increasing political radicalization fit exactly with the values of compassion, fairness, and equality that I'd always been taught.

She was a true Texan, and took as much delight in covering national stories as local ones. Her bold, Texas style reminds me of Ann Richards, and that's fitting because they were friends. I can imagine all the editorial cartoons in coming days, with Molly meeting Gov. Richards (who died a few months ago as well) in heaven. What will they say to one another?

She's the one who coined the nickname "Shrub" for G.W. Bush. I think I'll go out tonight and bury a shrub in her honor. I'm glad that she got to see the November elections.

We'll miss you, Molly. Lets just hope that we are able to fill your place, to call it like we see it, to point out the absurdity of things and to fight for the people who are left out of the system. You, in so many ways, are truly my hero. Thanks.

Here are a few of her priceless quotes. If you would like to read more of her work, check this out.

from her last column, January 11, 2007: "We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there."

"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."

"I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point -- race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything."

“Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.”

"The first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging."

"Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.”

"What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority."

"The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion."

"It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong."

"When future historians come to write the political story of our times, they will first have to review hundreds of hours of a cable television program called The Daily Show. You simply can't understand American politics in the new millennium without The Daily Show."

"Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for."

"I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle."

On Camille Paglia: "There is one area in which I think Paglia and I would agree that politically correct feminism has produced a noticeable inequity. Nowadays, when a woman behaves in a hysterical and disagreeable fashion, we say, 'Poor dear, it's probably PMS.' Whereas, if a man behaves in a hysterical and disagreeable fashion, we say, 'What an asshole.' Let me leap to correct this unfairness by saying of Paglia, Sheesh, what an asshole."

“Although it is true that only about 20 percent of American workers are in unions, that 20 percent sets the standards across the board in salaries, benefits and working conditions. If you are making a decent salary in a non-union company, you owe that to the unions. One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.”

"...Phil Gramm, the senator from Enron..."

in which I am both weak and economically sensible

I bought a coffee pot. Not an expensive one. In fact, I think it was the cheapest one at Target. When I came out here in the fall, I purposefully did not bring my coffee pot. The reason for this was that I was I had quit caffeine and the presence of a machine for producing that thing which I craved didn't seem like a particularly good idea.

And so I dealt with the headaches and other withdrawal symptoms. I don't mean to seem as if I totally quit. I had a few (okay, several) slips. But the fact that I was not drinking caffeinated things (coffee, tea, or soda) on a several-times-a-day basis reduced the degree to which I had built up a tolerance for it. One cup of coffee (and I mean a real cup, not those massive caffeine bombs that Starbucks et al. call "venti" or "grande") actually woke me up. I could have a diet dr. pepper for a quick bump in the middle of a long day.

But over Christmas, I lapsed. I started back on the coffee and the diet dr. pepper. And so, since I've been back, I've been buying coffee on the way to school every morning because I literally need it if I am going to function properly. This is not economically sensible. I could either spend $20 on a coffee pot once, and a few bucks here and there on the actual coffee. Or I could spent like $3 every day.

So, the answer was clear. But I can't help, while sitting here drinking my home-brewed coffee, that I have failed in my quest to conquer caffeine. It has forced me to admit defeat.

Duncan Hunter's campaign slogan is actually "peace through strength."

A little too Orwell for my tastes, I'll be honest with you.

Anyway, this week has been amazingly busy, and that's my excuse for not posting anything. Tonight or Sunday should see an update, or something. I'll finally be able to relax at that point. I hope.

Calling all children of the 80s

Do any of you remember the Disney show "Welcome to Pooh Corner"? It was back in the days when The Disney Channel didn't air commercials. Way back in the day. Anyway, I suspect many of you are thinking, "Oh, of course I remember Winnie-the-Pooh on t.v.!" But you are probably remembering many of WtP's other Disney incarnations, most likely, I suspect, "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh," which aired from 1988-1992.

But, "Welcome to Pooh Corner" was head and shoulders above the rest. I remember watching it avidly and singing along. And this is particularly remarkable, because it aired from 1983-1987. I would have been about 3 when it went off the air. Unlike subsequent animated versions, this one was made with live action people in suits and puppets for smaller characters (like Roo and Piglet).

I have asked many people about this show, and they do not remember it.

Here is the (still brilliant) intro:


Here is the intro for the (somewhat less brilliant) version that you probably remember from your formative years:

Dancing cacti

This looked fun.

Also, if a book is randomly lying in the mail station of an apartment complex and no one is around, can you assume that the book has been abandoned and take it and give it a good home? How about if you come back 5 hours later and the book is still there? I didn't take it, but I sincerely wanted to. I did pick it up, but then a Fall 2006 syllabus fell out of it. Clearly someone is using it this semester. Even if they dropped the class, at this point, they could still return it. I could think of no reason why a person would have left it there, but neither could I work up the courage to take it. The book in question:

This, children, is what procrastination gets you.

It is nearly 6am. In a few hours, about 1.5 to be precise, I will need to be getting up for school. Yet I cannot even get to sleep. Oh, I'm tired. But I can't get my brain to shut up. It keeps reminding me of things I haven't done, things I need to do, etc, etc. Tomorrow will have to be a hardcore coffee day, particularly with stats first thing in the morning.

Procrastination break!

My apartment is disgusting. This is my living room, and it's (by far) not the worst. I'm too embarrassed to show you my kitchen.

You know, given my penchant for cleaning when I don't want to do work, it's really surprising that this place is so messy. Usually when I'm this busy, I feel inexplicable urges to vacuum or mop or do the dishes or clean the toilet. Nope, not now. I kinda just wanna watch tv. But this (blogging) is the only kind of procrastination I'll allow myself. Now, back to work!

this may constitute my endorsement*, but i'm waiting to see

*endorsement would not necessarily mean that I think** that he is the best candidate. I'm pretty sure that's Dennis Kucinich.

**not that anyone cares what I think. I should probably title this "who I'll probably vote for in the primary," but "endorsement," as if my decision mattered to other peoples' decisions, sounds so much cooler.

a dream only a social scientist could dream

Last night I had a dream that I was a participant in a longitudinal study, where subjects were re-surveyed every few years. I don't remember much of the dream other than this. Except that every year my life got progressively worse and I dreaded seeing the interviewer because it made me take stock of the last few years and it became depressing.

It wasn't a fun dream.

In other news, I'm still sick.

forget the fact that I haven't posted in forever.

I promise not to give lame excuses if you promise to not complain.

Anyway. If my pharmacist were a Christian Scientist, could she legally never fill any of my prescriptions nor release the prescription and refer me to another pharmacist?

Temporarily back...

So, for those few of you who check this blog... you've noticed that there's been a whole lot of nothing while I've been gone. There are a variety of reasons for this sad state of affairs. I'd love to tell you that it's because I've been busy Getting Things Done, but that would be a lie. I haven't blogged from home because the crappy dial-up would be too frustrating to deal with. I haven't come here (to Panera--with free wireless) to work because I've been sick. Now I'm feeling marginally better, I figured I'd come and get work done. But the only thing I've done so far is this. You should feel loved. Or at least like a good method of procrastination. Go you. First You're named Time's Person of the Year, and now the first thing that I do when I have good internet is write to You. Good work!

I don't know that I'll post again before I get back into Tucson (which will be on Monday). Cross your fingers that I am productive before then!